Growing In God

Zookies Cloth Diaper giveaway

2011-02-03T16:27:00.000-08:00

I Just found Zookies as I have been surching for Cloth diaper products. The covers have such a different print then most and are adorable. You almost want to not cover them up with cloths! I would say everyone should check out Zookies!http://http://www.theloveliveshere.com/2011/01/zookies-cloth-diaper-covers-cover-that.html

2011-02-02T05:03:00.000-08:00

gDiapers Little gPant - Golly Molly Pink

Free diapers

2010-10-07T20:30:00.000-07:00

I would love to post some spiritual uplifting post but honestly don't have on lol! I have been sick for a week now. I sound like a frog and have a nasty cough that gets worse at night along with having a hard time breathing. Yuck!
I have been to church once in three weeks AHHHHHHHHHHH...................... I miss it! And my little Wednesday class with the little guys!
So since August we have had Staph/Strep infections in two children, Impetigo with one child, Molluscum conlagiosum in three to four of the kids,fevers with my oldest and I,coughs with everyone in the house,sore throats in three children and Me, and I lost my voice. We have been to the emergency room three times and doctor twice. Oh I am tired of all this. I have been at home so much I am going crazy with wanting to be around adults. Do something other than clean,teach,cook and repeat!
Yah I am complaining sigh... I know it will get better! Life is so full of twists and turns,ups and downs.....
On the up side I am beginning to think of Christmas and crafts to make. I have found one I want to try but am unsure I have enough time or will be able to do it. I haven't Crocheted in a long time!
My heart is heavy seeing all the pain and hurt that people are dealing with and that people put others through! Oh I wish people weren't so selfish in life! Ahh I know I still am selfish so I am speaking to me as well!

The boys have truly treated me well while I have been sick! I am so Blessed with my boys! They can be so thoughtful! Tonight as I read to them one of them said they wished I felt better,another said I was coughing more. I said it was from me reading so my four year old said,"Mom I think you should only read a little because of your cough" And I did! Sweet things! And they always add me to there prayers.

2010-09-15T21:38:00.000-07:00

It has been interesting as I have gotten older (and hopefully wiser lol) to see how God is working in me. I am far from where I need to be. I am continually amazed at how the things I need God provides for me the more I worry less and just be content with what I have. I will give you some what may seem silly examples. I was in need of some decent tennis shoes. I needed them yet it isn't like a desperate kind of need and also new I was gonna need some winter shoes( that was more important then tennis shoes). I hadn't even looked at shoes just would think of it from time to time. There is just to much other things that need taken care of. Well Just this week I got a pair of both in my size free! Also I was in need of a stove with a working oven. ( I had taped the heating element once when it was hot cause geese had dripped on it and it broke lol,yah stupid I know). I hadn't pressed the issue or complained( something I would have done in the past).I actually wasn't worried( odd for me). I went a good three months or more without a working oven. I finally called swap shop about a stove but again wasn't to worried. I got a couple calls and we were gonna go look at one for $100.00 that weekend. I ended up taking my sister and brother-in-law to the recycle shed at the dump and guess what! There was a stove in great condition and clean and my brother-in-law was able to put it in his van for me. I wouldn't have been able to get it if he wasn't there. And best of all it was FREE! It continues to happen to me on a constant biases. I don't worry much anymore. I mean God always provides what I need and the more I worry and try to find ways to make things work the harder it seems. Simple prayers said to the Almighty God and faith that in His time and His way we will be provided for!
My mom comments often of how blessed I am and is continually amazed! I am becoming less amazed and realizing it is simply that God does and will provide for those who love and trust him. I am learning the true meaning of trusting God and having faith. It doesn't mean say the words,pray,say God will take care of it then worry and try to figure it out lol! That is taking control.I want God to be in control therefor I tell Him what I am in need of and wait to see how He will provide without stressin over it. It is fun to see how it all comes about.

2010-09-12T16:15:00.000-07:00

It is amazing how my enemy can get to me without me truly understanding and putting a stop to it. Why in the world would I let him consistently put doubts,fears,anger,and resentful thoughts that turn into feelings into my life? Because I don't think much of myself so it is easy to accept the thoughts instead of fighting them off like I should in the very beginning. Oh of course my enemy is Satan and myself.
But I am taking a stand and will fight out of this! Sigh I am SO glad I can actually say that without doubt!
It wont all go away instantly I know because I have believed the lies for to long! I am a loved daughter of God and will learn to act accordingly! Not in self doubt,fear,nor thinking less of myself than the others I see as more spiritual then me! I just need to decide that knowing God is the most important factor in my life and dive head long into learning to be an obedient servant and daughter of Jesus Christ! One more step out of the box!
Ha I will become what God wants me to be and quit focusing on what seems impossible and just walk where God says to walk fully trusting Him and not leaving the path He sets before me!
I will quit saying I can't out of fear or intimidation. I can if God tells me to cause He will only give me what I can handle! And I will learn to lean on Gods understanding not mine!

2010-09-01T15:04:00.000-07:00

So I have found my self desiring to have a baby agian. Lol I can't believe I am saying this lol! Things are not easy with four yet.. I adore my life and children and feel so utterly Blessed! I would say it is a God thing cause I haven't wanted a baby in about 2 years.
Lol some girls at church have said I should have more cause they are so cute! Now isn't that a good reason to have kids? LOL! Everyone says we should have a girl. I don't know about that.
Well I need to go start supper. Whatever that will be. Don't know yet and wish I didn't have to cook. I wish Aaron could do supper more often. I love it when he does even though it takes a tad longer cause he cleans up everything so well lol! Not me! Ha Ha!

2010-07-24T20:36:00.001-07:00

Like so many people I have been hurt in so many ways. Most of them few now about. Part of my learning to forgive. I have been used,lied to and about,threatened,called names,devistated to the point of not wanting to live yet God has always been right there with me through each hurt and pain I have ever dealt with! He has always been my one and only Rock I lean on for all things!
I have had people tell me I don't know what it's like to have.... happen to me. That was a hard one for me. Cause oh yes I do!!! More than They or many know.
Forgiveness is so important to me. I new without forgiving those that have soo hurt me I wouldn't make it. So I have continually cried out to God to help me and to show me each area I need to work on and give my pain and hurt to God when I know there is no more I can do about it.
I am not where I know I should be but I know I am on my way one step at a time. The one that has hurt me the most I can say I love more than before.He is my best friend, my husband. Do I still deal with hurts,fears,anger,distrust,pain,resentment? Yes they continually arise. I continually give them to God and tell satan where he can go :) I am learning to recognize satans attacks on me,my mind and trying to destroy my marriage and family. Thank you God for that!
My God is bigger than my hurt and pain! I sat out in an open field and watched the sunrise this morning and just was in amazement at seeing Gods glory and new that He can and will take care of all my hurt pain and fears. In His way and His time! Not mine.
I can not allow hurt,anger,fear,pain,resentment,distrust etc. to rule my life! I know that they are oposit of what God wants for me and will fight them until God comes and takes me home!

Forgiving Others

2010-07-24T20:00:00.000-07:00

Hurt and disappointment inflicted by others is an inevitable experience that we all must face at some point in our lives. We have no control over the actions of others or the negative feelings their actions can sometimes evoke. We can either perpetuate the feelings of hurt and disappointment or accept what has happened and begin moving on.
When someone has done us wrong, it’s common for us to take on the role of the victim. The key is not to exploit this role for attention, sympathy and confirmation, which is very easy to do (and you may not even realize that you are doing it). After getting hurt, you really just want to know that at least someone out there cares and that someone is on your side, right? There are plenty of people that care and that are on your side, but this isn’t really the ideal way to go about soliciting their support. (i.e. Telling anyone who will listen about what so & so did to you)

When you ignore someone, talk badly about them, are rude to them, don’t forgive them, etc…you are clearly indicating that you have not yet gotten past the pain that they caused you. In addition to prolonging the drama, you are either consciously or subconsciously trying to spread your pain to them. These are not good, healthy ways to deal with your emotions and get closure. Often times, this causes you to carry baggage into your future relationships. (i.e. Having trust issues because someone cheated on you)

As far as closure goes, I hear too often of people seeking closure from the person that hurt them. It’s natural to want to know what someone was thinking, why they hurt you, if they ever cared about you. 99% of the time, you are not going to get the answers to those questions because nobody likes to admit when they are wrong or dwell on poor decisions. Often times, there really isn’t a valid explanation to be offered if they have even thought about it. I think that actively seeking closure is most times unrealistic. It can’t be forced. Additionally, the person that hurt you could potentially identify that your closure is dependent on them and take advantage of that. (i.e. Everytime you try to walk away, they do or say something to pull you back into the same emotional rollercoaster)

Forgiveness is something that you do on your own time and of your own will. It should not be dependent on anyone but you. Once, in a conversation about someone hurting me, my dad gave me some really good advice. He told me that you just have to take people for what they are. Regardless of what they did to you, now you know what they are capable of and not to put yourself in that position again and/or to be more cautious. He told me to make the conscious decision to LET IT GO and no longer let anyone or anything (that most times aren’t even worth your time and energy) steal your joy.

If the person that hurt you has apologized and still wants to pursue a friendship or relationship with you, then this is at your discretion. If you choose to continue to deal with this person, you should be a little cautious but also make sure you have truly forgiven them. You can’t hold the past against them when you insinuate that you have forgiven them and are trying to move on. This is taking a step backwards. If you find that you can’t move on with that person serving as a constant reminder of the hurt and disappointment that you experienced, then perhaps it’s a sign that they are no more forward steps in the relationship. At which point, it would be best to continue pursuing the forward steps to forgiveness and moving on independently.

I think that forgiveness is a huge part of the maturation process. Forgiveness in itself is a process whose length and difficulty vary by situation. Sometimes, we feel as though certain things could just never ever be forgiven. I urge you to remember that you are not perfect and have also inflicted hurt and disappointment to someone else at some point in your life. Hopefully, all encounters with forgiveness (forgiving others, others forgiving us and us forgiving ourselves) are lessons learned about how we allow others to treat us, how we treat others and how we treat ourselves
http://www.seefurtherthaniam.com/?p=690

2010-07-24T16:18:00.001-07:00

Grace is not a thing which I use; grace is something which uses me. But people talk of grace sometimes as if it was something they could use, and not as influence having power over them. Grace is something not which I improve, but which improves, employs me, works on me...Grace is a thing which comes and exercises an influence on us.– CH Spurgeon

2010-07-19T05:38:00.000-07:00

Sundays sermon was called Fear Not. God is continually working on that with me. I need reminded often how fear is not from God but Satan. I also realize how often satan puts so many thoughts into my head and I have dwellet on them way to often. I used to think that there had to be something wrong with me because of all the odd terrible,crazy,mean,fearful,arrogant,deceptive,selfish thoughts that I have yet I realize most of those are not my thoughts but things satan wispers into my mind and I have to take authority against them. I refuse to allow satan to win this fight. With Christ I don't have to fear but just continually give my thoughts, feelings, fears,people etc over to God and let Him deal with them(satan).
It is so wonderful to have a relationship with my husband that even if my fears and thoughts have to do with him I can be honest and open with him and he is so sweet and honest and open right back,suportive, and uplifting using scripture and love to help me. It hasn't always been this way with us. We have been through many hard times in our relationship.Many times that in the natural eye it didn't seem or look like we'd make it or ever have a close relationship.Many painful things said and done that seemed to a human eye that couldn't or maybe shouldn't be forgiven or could change changed. But when you give those times and your spouse to God and pray pray hard you get to sit back and watch God move and change you,your spouce and your marriage.
Being surrounded by friends that were supportive you both of you and there strong in prayer and love and incouraging me of what Gods word says and of words of knowledge and wisdom was sooo amazing! God spoke so many things to me there was no way I could turn away but only continue to press forward no matter how hurt I was or wanted to give up,get angry,strike back. God is just sooo amazing!!!!
If you ever have struggles and those around you are negative or point out what you have a right to do or feel get away and get away fast. Gods way and mans way are two different things.

Confessions of a Legal Immigrant | The Black Sphere

2010-06-25T12:35:00.000-07:00

Confessions of a Legal Immigrant | The Black Sphere

2010-06-24T19:39:00.000-07:00

Man I really miss my Hubby! I miss being able to talk to him after work about anything and everything. I miss shopping with him and watching the kids attack him! You don't realise how much you talk to your spouce until you are not able to talk to them for awhile. I can't even text him and expect an answer like I do all the time normally!
I am just sooooooooooooo glad he will be back so soon! I cannot wait!!!!

I have to remind myself often that when I hear a radio cast or sermon and it makes me think of differnt people in my life ( not finger pointing here just so everyone understands that) that God has me hearing it for me and that is why I am hearing it and to focus on how God may be trying to show me something about me that I am not seeing. There must be something I am not seeing then or need to learn for now or later in life. Lol alot of seeing isn't there!

Well my downstairs bathroom is getting a make over and my house seems to just be getting more messed up lol! I have done mudding,sanding mud and will be sealing the walls and then painting them. I am starting to feel I know something about repairing things lol But I know it is very little knowledge that I have! :)

My 2 year old continues to get into things. I am tired of him coming to me with something on his hands saying,"Yuck"! LOL today it was aarons shaving gel and toothpaste! Sigh......... At least we invested in a carpet cleaner! MAn do we need it!!!!!!!

Having Kids

2010-06-23T20:47:00.000-07:00

I have to start by saying I adore my children and thank God for them all the time! I have been for the past two years dealing with the issue of having more children. There are so many beliefs and many people have their own beliefs. I feel children are a great gift from God and have and are teaching me much about life,love,God,faith etc.
Yet after going through some hard times in the last two years I have gone through many feelings about having more kids. For awhile I felt that if I were to become pregnant I would be very angry with God. I know that sounds harsh but that is were I was at in my life. I was healing from much emotional pain and just felt like it would be mean of God to allow that to happen. I also do not believe in using most about all birth control that is out there nore am I gonna pay for an opperation.Sigh.. I prayed and gave my feelings,fears,anger to God. It has slowly changed.
I still don't particularly want to be pregnant ..yet when I look at my boys I can't help but wonder what it would be like to have another.
I have taken precautions. My husband wasn't ready for more kids either. He has now said if it happens it happens with a smile but doesn't want persay to not be careful to keep it from happening.
Yet as of late I have stuggled with it because I feel that I need to give control of this to God. To trust Him to allow or stop me from getting pregnant. I know He created me in such a way to bring forth life. Who am I to take control of that? Yet am I ready to have another child? I am not old but am getting older. My body has gotten very close to normal for the first time in about 8 years. I have a two year old in the stubborn stage and a highly acctive lol 3 year old and homeschool.
Oh I know I could and would be able to handle it if it happened but the struggle between letting go of me and my wants etc and to let God decide how many children I have..... Hmmmm I feel I need to let that control go yet God knows I am not sure I am able to yet.

THere have been times I felt like getting rid of all my baby things. Feeling like the baby stage of my life is over. And maybe it is but I don't know that since I have taken measure to make sure it didn't happen.

I struggle with letting go!
I am not around people who have four kids or more. I know they are around but most of them that I have met have older kids.
Today I went to get my hair cut,Lowes,Walmart and of course had all my kids with me. Can't say it went very well either. I don't want to even try to think what it would be like trying to do that with four kids and a baby! Man! ANd yes I had too! Well I could have called a friend but I hate to do that to them and it took way longer then I thought it would.

I know now why though I don't see other parents with so many kids. They don't take them out as a group often lol especially when shopping. But when Daddys not able to go I have no choice.

Will I have more kids? THat is yet to be seen!

2010-06-14T20:46:00.000-07:00

So today was my first day of teaching VBS. Thankgoodness I wasn't alone and had a wonderful friend as my co-teachers.We were Cree indians and talking about how God came to our chief and he began serving the Great Peace Chief God. It was really fun and we had four kids who raised their hands to ask God to help them love him. It was great! All my boys enjoyed their class's. My K said it was great and told me all the things he did,My J said he really liked it and My C said kinda because there was too much talking and they didn't play games long enough lol! My E had a friend and stayed in the nursery most of the time but then in the end came with us on our treasure hunt. It was so fun holding his little hand as we walked around. The kids liked having him with us as well. We had alot of boys that were more high strung kids but since I have had K and E it wasn't anything new to me thankgoodness!!!!!! I think I will be so much more ready for it tomorrow.
The story we tell the kids is really good about a Chief who learned about God from a man who came and translated the The Bible into Cree. His father was then killed by white settlers and later at a peace treaty gathering he was told that that man who had killed his father was there in the crowd. The Chief had him braught to him,had them take off his cloths which was a sign that he was going to kill him but then had them dress him in his (the chiefs)best cloths and given his best horse and said the man was now his father and to go tell all that this is how he treated his enemys. I watched as the boys sat there so quietly and one with his eyes so big in amazement! I loved it!
Of coure that is a small part of the story.
I am glad to be doing this and C loves that I am one of the teachers and he will be in my class. Lol! Sweet boy! As he was passing my class tonight he stopped and said,"Hows it going?" Oh so sweet! What four wonderful gifts from God I have!!!!!!

2010-06-11T20:17:00.000-07:00

Do we really let people know who we really are? Maybe some do but many don't. Why because we know and believe that if people new our faults,insecuritys,fears,bad thoughts,anger,pain,past sins,present stuggles that they will put us down,look down on us,point fingers,judge,you name it.
When I think of Christ and how he treated people. People caught in sin,dirty people not even asking for forgivness yet how he treated them was amazing!

And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst, They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act.Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou? This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with [his] finger wrote on the ground, [as though he heard them not].
So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her. And again he stooped down, and wrote on the ground. And they which heard [it], being convicted by [their own] conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, [even] unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst. When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee? She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life. John 8:3-12

I so want to be able to be like Christ. I want to see people and not see the sin as the focus but to be able to see a sinner as someone that Christ loves and hurts to see them in thier sin and be able to reach out to them without fear of how they or others will look at me. To think less of me and more of others! To forgive quickly,speak up boldly in love and confidence the truth even if it will make someone mad,to show kindness to those who don't deserve it, TO BE LIKE CHRIST!
I am not even close to were I seek to be! But the journey isn't over yet Thank God!!!
I will continue to fight fear and being judgmental,and being selfish etc. and I will win more and more each day as I give each thing to Christ who is my one and only above all else!

2010-05-31T17:00:00.000-07:00

The Jesus Center Reunion was a Blast!! I was sooo touched by the worship!!! It was awesome seeing people give Honor to the origanal men who started and led the church even when there had been many hurts among them. They were so loving and humble!
It was great to hear others whom had witnessed my father and mothers relationship and speak of how tight they were and loved eachother like few do. How they were an example to them and for their marriage now! That was such a nice thing to hear. I asked them to pray about writing some things they remember down for me. I sure hope they will and soon but wont get my hopes up to much. They are busy people.
I just loved being around such loving and caring people. I didn't remember probably half of them but many many of them remembered me lol!
Christian got to play football and made new friends. We played in the rain,eat,sang,worshiped, and talked. I am sooo glad I went!!!!!!!
It was wonderful seeing Marsha and Gordan again!!!! Gordan spoke of coming down sometime during the winter. Oh I hope so!!!!!
And now we are home!!!! Yes! Even though it was a blast and I got to see family as well I am happy to be home!!!!
God is sooo good! I adore Him and Love watching the amazing things he does all around me!!! I could ask for nothing more important in life than to have a Heavenly Father whom loves me no matter what! And forgives me for all my mistakes and doesn't put them back in my face to remind me of them! His grace is sooo amazing and His love sooo sweet! None can compare!!!!

2010-05-23T19:58:00.000-07:00

Oh I am soo excited! I have pumkin,garlic,watermelon,corn,tomatoes and green beans all coming up in my garden! Yeh!!! I am hoping I get carrots and potatoes this year I haven't had much luck with them so far. My green beans I didn't plant at least not on purpose. I pulled up the ones from last year and left the dead plants in the garden and there were some beans on them and they got tilled into the ground and came back up lol! that has happened two years in a row now it is fun! lol!
Well I'm heading to bed! I am utterly exhausted! I fell asleep on the boys floor waiting for Ethan to fall asleep and the older boys to finish thier bath. House isn't in order but it is staying that way until tomorrow lol! I need rest!!!!! Bed here I come!

2010-05-23T18:34:00.000-07:00

The last few days have been so busy but yet very Good! My favorite part of all of the weekend was seeing and talking to my hubby on Skype!
I was able to get the lawn mowed,church cleaned,lots of laundry done,packed for a cook out and day at the beach with family! And then had a wonderful time at church and got to know some people better at a special small meal we had. It was Great!
I think my view of churchs was so bad for so long that it took two churchs,5 years and great leaders,and great friends for me to be able to see church and its people in a way couldn't before. I was just too negative. I am just so Blessed to be where I am! No matter what I have gone through in the last 5 years I always feel so extreamly blessed and know I am where God wants me right now in my life. I feeling is so utterly amazing!!! The support I have all around me is something I never new could truly exist only dreamed of and wished for lol!
Most likely it is because I am not so negative about people in church and continue to be shown how great they are!!! We had a testemony today of a young girl from Centeral Collage that came around Easter and was heald of scoliosis and has had any pain since! I love seeing the extream hunger to know God more in our pastor and leaders and congrigation!!!! It isn't just talk it is real!!!! Thank you God!!!!!

I am happy to say my boys love Daniel Boone the old show and man is it ever good! Many Biblical aspecs I love it. Forgivess,love,helping others,etc etc. And it talks of God many times directly and many times indirectly. I wish I owned the whole set! But I'm glad we can get them through net flix!

What does 1 Timothy 2:11-15 mean?

2010-05-21T11:51:00.000-07:00

« Does God have one unique law? Part OneDoes God have one unique law? Part Two »What does 1 Timothy 2:11-15 mean?
Dec 2nd, 2006 by Cheryl Schatz

I was challenged to present my view of 1 Timothy 2:11-15 on another blog and I thought it would be good to summarize my view on my own blog. Here is the teaching from “Women in Ministry Silenced or Set Free?” our DVD series on the hard passages of scripture on the women’s issue, presenting the 1 Timothy 2 passage in a nutshell:

1.In context, Paul is dealing with false deceived teachers who are teaching false doctrine (1 Tim. 1:3, 7)
2.Paul did not leave Timothy behind in Ephesus to stop the false teachers AND to stop all women who are teaching correct biblical doctrine - he only left Timothy behind to stop the false teachers from teaching false doctrine (1 Tim. 1:3)
3.Paul says that he too had been deceived and he received mercy because of his fighting against the church was because he was ignorant of the truth and he had been deceived (1 Tim 1:13, 16)
4.Paul differentiates between those who were teaching false doctrines because they were ignorant and deceived (1 Tim. 1:3, 7) and those who were deliberate deceivers (1 Tim. 1:19, 20)
5.Paul names the deceivers (1 Tim. 1:20) but he does not name the ones who are deceived (1 Tim. 1:3, 6)
6.Paul gives instructions to Timothy regarding how the men and women who claim godliness should conduct themselves in the church while they are in the midst of the false teachers (1 Tim. 2:1-10)
7.All Christians should be praying for the lost even those who are lost in their midst - those who are embroiled in false doctrine (1 Tim. 2:1-4)
8.The Christian men in the congregation are not to handle the false teachers with argumentation that might come out even in their prayers (1 Tim. 2:8)
9.The women in the congregation who lay claim to godliness (1 Tim. 2:10) need to handle this false teacher situation with prayer as well (1 Tim. 2:9 “likewise” links back to prayer) and continue to produce good works (1 Tim. 2:10) and not expect that it is their appearance with elaborate dressing that will show forth the godly example, but their godly works (1 Tim. 2:8-10)
10.Paul then abruptly changes from the godly men and women (plural) to the singular form of woman and man and deals with a problem of false teaching and a false teacher.
11.Before Paul gives the prohibition, he gives the solution to one of the problems in the church. Paul instructs that “a woman” is to be given the opportunity to learn. This identifies the problem that she is not one of the deceivers, but one of the deceived. Paul never educates the deceivers - he names them, exposes them and shuns them. His solution to deception is education in sound doctrine and he never ever identifies the deceived.
12.Paul tells Timothy that he is not allowing “a woman” to teach or authenteo “a man”. It is out of context to even consider that Paul is here stopping godly women from teaching correct biblical doctrine. In context the prohibition can only be the stopping of false doctrine and stopping a false teacher. (1 Tim. 2:12)
13.We know this is false teaching that is being stopped because Timothy’s mandate to stop the teachers was only for false teachers. Also in the example given later of why the teaching is to be stopped, Paul ties the prohibition into the example of the first deceived woman (1 Tim. 2:14)
14.Whenever gune and aner are mentioned together in scripture in any type of relationship, they are always translated as husband and wife. Verse 12 should be translated as a single wife teaching/influencing her husband.
15.Paul has several times not identified people by calling them “a man” yet the context clearly identifies the “a man” as a specific person (2 Cor. 12:2, 5; 1 Cor. 5:1) 1 Timothy 2: 11, 12 follows that example as two people are called “a woman” and “a man” without naming them. They are not named because the wife is one of the deceived and Paul never identifies the deceived ones by name.
16.Paul identifies the reason why the first man was not deceived and why the woman was. He refers us back to Genesis to discover the reason by stating that the man was created first and was not deceived and the woman was created second was deceived (1 Tim. 2:13, 14 and Gen. 2:8, 19) See Genesis 2:8, 19 in the Apostle’s Bible which is the modern English version of the Greek Septuagint where it is quite clear the education Adam had before Eve was created.
17.The grammar from 1 Timothy 2:15 requires the identification of a single female to refer back to “a woman” from verse 12. The “she” from verse 15 cannot be Eve because the tense is future and Eve is dead.
18.The only “she” in this entire passage that verse 15 can refer back to is “a woman” from verse 12. “She” and “they” are given instructions regarding her salvation and it is future tense.
19.1 Tim. 2:15 gives the answer as to whether the deceived woman can receive salvation even though she has been deceived by false doctrine. She (refer back to verse 12 the deceived Ephesian woman) will be saved through the Messiah born of the woman (the childbearing which is a noun and not a verb), if they (refer back to verse 12 the deceived Ephesian woman and her husband) continue on in their faith in God, love for the Savior, holiness, and self-control to stay away from false doctrine. This is how one deceived woman will be saved (and is a pattern for the salvation of all deceived teachers).
20.Summary: Paul was not making a universal prohibition that stopped godly women from teaching sound doctrine to men. He was stopping one of the false teachers in the assembly from taking her Christian husband down the proverbial garden path towards the forbidden fruit.
For a full media production of this passage along with the other hard passages of scripture on the women’s issue, see our DVD called “Women in Ministry Silenced or Set Free?” available on Amazon.com or see a fuller version of 1 Timothy 1:11-15 by clicking here.

Reading the comments and the rest of this (which I will post another time) are very good reading! Brings out points of dissagreement and great responses!

Women in the church,teaching,roles etc.

2010-05-21T11:46:00.000-07:00

I have to say I agree 99% of this and love the way he speaks of marriage!

Submission? Oppression? Liberation? The woman in home and church...
The Christian Woman
"Born to Win"
Daily Radio Program
by Ronald L. Dart
Click here to listen to:

RealAudio

Ronald L. Dart: "There are no women in heaven," chuckled the preacher. "How do I know this? The Lord revealed it in Revelation 8:1 when He said there was silence in heaven about the space of half an hour."

It was all very amusing, and even the ladies enjoyed a little laugh at their own expense - after all, more than one of them had "talked someone's ear off" sometime in the past 48 hours.

[ABCOG: on average, women speak 25,000 words in a day, men 15,000.]

Still, there was a little hurt in the laughter of some. To them it was just one more "put-down" for women. Only this time it came from an unexpected source - their pastor from whom they felt they had a right to expect support, not humiliation.

It is bad enough to endure discrimination and even denigration from the world at large without having to endure it in the church. Why, even in this sanctuary from the hurts of the world, do women find themselves being hurt yet again?

"Who am I?" the Christian woman asks. "What am I? Why did God make me woman? Am I under some sort of curse? Am I only offered a secondary salvation? Am I some sort of inferior creature - a divine afterthought?"

Why have the churches left women so confused about their identity? What have churchmen taught about the role of the Christian woman? From whence come these teachings? The answer may surprise you.

The Church "Fathers"

From the very earliest times, the attitude of the "church fathers" toward women could be described as negative at best. Tertullian, for example, saw woman as the personification of fundamentally evil sex. He exhorts the Christian woman to wear somber clothes and to conduct herself as Eve:

... mourning and repentant, in order that by every garb of penitence she might the more fully expiate that which she derived from Eve - the ignominy, I mean, of the first sin, and the odium [attaching to her as the cause] of human perdition. "In pains and anxieties dost thou bear [children], woman; and toward thine husband [is] thy inclination, and he lords it over thee." And do you not know that you are [each] an Eve? The sentence of God on this sex of yours lives in this age: the guilt must of necessity live too. You are the Devil's gateways; you are the unsealer of that [forbidden] tree: you are the first deserter of the divine law: you are she who persuaded him whom the Devil was not valiant enough to attack. You destroyed so easily God's image, man. On account of your desert - that is, death - even the Son of God had to die" [Tertullian, De cultu feminarum 1.1, The Fathers of the Church, Volume 40, pp. 117f].

Shocking, isn't it? Stripped of all frills, he says in the plainest terms that there is a sentence of God upon the female sex that lives on and the guilt goes on too. He says that women are the devil's gateway, the first deserter of the divine law, the destroyer of man and ultimately responsible for the death of the Son of God.

When we understand that this man was one of the earliest (A.D. 160-225) and most prolific of the church fathers, and that his influence was so pervasive that he has been called the father of Latin theology, we begin to get an idea of how early and how strongly negative attitudes toward women were inculcated into the church's theology. But where did Tertullian get these ideas? From the Bible? It is of at least passing interest that the Apocryphal book of Ecclesiasticus - not generally accepted as canonical by Protestant churches - is quite negative about women: "Do not look upon anyone for beauty, and do not sit in the midst of women; for from garments come the moth, and from a woman comes woman's wickedness. Better is the wickedness of a man than a woman who does good; and it is a woman who brings shame and disgrace" (Ecclesiasticus 42:12-14).

Another of the early church fathers, Origen (A.D. 185-224), stated, "What is seen with the eyes of the Creator is masculine, and not feminine, for God does not stop to look upon what is feminine and of the flesh" (Origen, Selecta in Exodus xviii.17, Migne, Patrologia Graeca, Volume 12, Column 296 ). Origen is also quoted elsewhere as saying that it is not proper for a woman to speak in church, however admirable or holy what she says may be, merely because it comes from female lips.

Yet another church father, Epiphanius (A.D. 315-403), wrote: "For the female sex is easily seduced, weak, and without much understanding. The Devil seeks to vomit out this disorder through women ... We wish to apply masculine reasoning and destroy the folly of these women" (Epiphanius, Adversus Collyridianos, Migne, Patrologia Graeca, Volume 42, Column 740 f).

There were some curious lines of reasoning to be found among the early church fathers. Cyril of Alexandria (A.D. 376-444), for example, explained why Mary Magdalene did not immediately recognize Jesus after His resurrection thus: "Somehow the woman [Mary Magdalene], or rather the female sex as a whole, is slow in comprehension" (Cyril of Alexandria, Migne, Patrologia Graeca, Volume 74, Column 689).

Leonard Swidler finds Cyril's conclusions contradictory since

the most celebrated non-Christian mathematician and philosopher of the neo-Platonic school in Alexandria was a woman, Hypatia. But in a neurotic sort of way the two elements fit together, for Hypatia, known for her "great eloquence, rare modesty, and beauty," attracted many students and naturally opposed much of what the authoritarian, violent Cyril stood for. Her existence as a proof of the falsity of Cyril's image of woman's uncomprehending nature was swiftly cut off by Christian monks who dragged her from her chariot into a Christian church, stripped her naked, cut her throat, and burned her piecemeal; Cyril was deeply complicit, indirectly if not directly [Socrates, Historia Ecclesiastica, Volume 7, 15, as quoted by Leonard Swidler, Biblical Affirmations of Woman, page 345].

And so this pervasive attitude continues on with successive church fathers including Ambrose, Ambrosiaster, Jerome and Augustine.

These latter two seem to have had grave difficulties with their sexuality. In his struggle with himself, Jerome lived the most extreme ascetic life in the desert. During this period he was filled with the wildest sexual fantasies:

Although in my fear of hell I had consigned myself to this prison where I had no companions but scorpions and wild beasts, I often found myself amid bevies of girls. My face was frail and my frame chilled with fasting, yet my mind was burning with desire and the fires of lust kept bubbling up before me when my flesh was as good as dead [Jerome, Epistle 22:7]. At times he [Jerome] gratuitously projected debaucheries on women whom he did not even know and about whom he had no information, as, for example, in his letter to a Christian ascetic woman in Gaul in which he describes in lurid detail her imagined behavior, such as her mincing gait, pretended ascetic dress, carefully ripped to display the white flesh beneath, her shawl which she allows to slip and quickly replaces to reveal her curving neck [Jerome, Epistle 117, as quoted by Leonard Swidler, Biblical Affirmations of Woman, page 347].

[ABCOG: lack of food and sleep (typical of the desert hermits) distorts brain functioning, inducing uncontrollable hallucinations - "what they fear comes upon them" - visions of demons, seductresses, etc.]

Augustine also struggled with his desire for sex and his belief that sex was evil.

A good Christian is found in one and the same woman: To love the creature of God (quod homo est) whom he desires to be transformed and renewed, but to hate in her the corruptible and mortal conjugal connection, sexual intercourse and all that pertains to her as a wife (quod uxor est) [Augustine, De Sermone Domini In Monte 1.15 Migne, Patrologia Latina, Volume 34, Col.. 1250].

The influential Augustine saw woman as the expression of the flesh:

Flesh stands for woman, because she was made out of a rib ... the Apostle has said: Who loves his woman loves himself; for no one hates his own flesh. Flesh thus stands for the wife, as sometimes also spirit for the husband. Why? Because the latter rules, and the former is ruled; the later should govern, the former should serve.

As late as the sixth century Gregory the Great is quoted as saying, "In holy scripture [the word] 'woman' stands either for the female sex (Galatians 4:4) or for weakness, as it is said: A man's spite is preferable to a woman's kindness (Sirach 42:14). For every man is called strong and clear of thought but woman is looked upon as a weak or muddled spirit" (Gregory, Migne, Patrologia Latina, Volume 75, Column 982 f).

The Source

From whence came these beliefs? Are they biblically derived? Or have they somehow been derived from human society and human values?

Certainly the Judeo-Christian tradition is not alone - it seems that most human societies and religions are shot through with ideas that at best regard woman as man's inferior, and at worst as being essentially evil.

In the orthodox Hindu religion, it is believed that women cannot obtain salvation as women, but only through being reborn as men.

In the Indian epic, the Mahabharata, woman is seen as "an all-devouring curse. In her body the evil cycle of life begins afresh, born out of lust engendered by blood and semen. Man emerges mixed with excrement and water, fouled with the impurities of woman. A wise man will avoid the contaminating society of women as he would the touch of bodies infested with vermin."

In first century Jewish society, an adult male Jew thanked God three times a day for not having made him a Gentile, a woman or a slave. Did this idea originate from the Bible? Certainly not. It probably derived from Hellenistic [culture of Alexander the Great's empire] or Greek society where a fundamental tenet held that a man was to be grateful that he was born a human being and not a beast, a man and not a woman, a Hellene and not a barbarian.

There is ample reason to believe that the traditions of the Jews and even the later Christian societies regarding women might well have been derived from pagan cultures. But did they find any foundation at all in the Bible?

In the Beginning

In the beginning, God had a plan for man and woman. There are certain things that are evident in His original intent. We have two main ways of understanding this intent. First, some things are evident in the design of man and woman. The bodily structure and physical and biochemical functions of men and women differ in important ways. As someone aptly pointed out, the fact that the human species is mammalian has far-reaching and inescapable sociological consequences. The female, obviously, is designed for bearing and nurturing children. The male, on the other hand, is designed for protecting and providing for his family. Consequently, the male is generally larger and stronger than the female.

It's not difficult to proceed to the conclusion, then, that it was within the scope of God's original plan and intent that the larger, stronger and more mobile male would tend to be dominant in male-female relationships. It's a simple matter of the sociological consequences of biology.

The other way we discern God's intent is in the creation itself. Jesus Himself recognized in that account an "original intent."

It came to pass on a day that the Pharisees came to Him, attempting to lay a snare, and asked, "Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?" Jesus' answer is simple and direct: "Have you not read, that He which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder" (Matthew 19:3-6).

It is important to note that Jesus did not say "they twain shall be master and servant." Nor did He describe them as lord and slave. Rather, He describes an entirely different relationship: "They twain shall be one flesh."

But is such a relationship implied in the earliest accounts of the creation of woman? Let's consider it beginning in Genesis 2:18: "And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him."

The expression "help meet" has often been taken to mean helper in the sense of servant, menial, apprentice or, in the extreme, a slave. The Hebrew, however, will not justify such a meaning. In fact, the word help is often used of God Himself. In Psalm 46:1, for example, God is called "a very present help" in time of trouble. Numerous examples could be given, but it is clear that the word does not mean "help" in a subservient sense. What the scripture does imply is that man alone is incomplete, inadequate to God's purpose.

Returning to Genesis 2:19,20, we find the very curious account of the naming of the animals. The account almost sounds as though God expected He might find a helper for Adam among the animals and would not need to create woman at all! It's almost as though woman was sort of a "divine afterthought," a solution to a problem that had not otherwise been found. Such a suggestion-is absurd on the face of it. As James put it, "Known unto God are all His works from the beginning" (Acts 15:18). The physical designs of man and animals show clearly that God never expected to find Adam's mate among the animal kingdom. The end of verse 20 is merely a simple statement of this fact.

Yet another misconception arises from Genesis 2:21: "And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof, And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made He a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man." Some of the early church fathers suggested that because woman was taken from Adam's rib that she was somehow inferior to man.

The apostle Paul makes an interesting refutation of this theory in the 11th chapter of I Corinthians. He is in the process of discussing a rather obscure practice of the time having to do with head coverings, long and short hair, the shaving of heads, etc. In the process, he appeals to a pattern of leadership descending from the Father to Christ, to the husband, to the wife. However, lest someone assume that the woman is inferior to the man or less important in this relationship, Paul cautions: "Nevertheless neither is the man without woman, neither is the woman without the man, in the Lord. For as the woman is of the man [Eve was taken from Adam's rib], even so is the man also by the woman [every man since Adam has come from the womb of a woman]; but all things of God" (I Corinthians 11:11, 12).

Paul seems to be taking up God's statement that it was not good for man to be alone and continuing to point out that both man and woman are incomplete without the other. Interestingly enough, the fact that all men since Adam come from women and that we all tend to revere our mothers conceivably could lead to matriarchy. It's almost as though God's purpose in taking our first mother out of Adam was to create an equality between men and women - to prevent women from having the ascendancy because all men come from women. Do you suppose there would have been different sociological consequences through the ages had God created Eve first and taken Adam from her?

It may be easier to argue that God's intent in taking woman out of man was to create equality between the sexes than it is to argue that it was His intent to make man superior to woman.

Some of the early church fathers attempted to conclude from this account that woman was not only inferior to man, but that she - unlike man - was not made in God's image. And yet we are told clearly in the original creation account, "So God created man in His own image, in the image of God created He him; male and female created He them" (Genesis 1:27). Man in this verse is used in the generic sense. Man was created male and female. Woman, like man, is created in the image of God. Later, in commenting on the work that He had done that day, "God saw everything that He had made, and behold, it was very good" (verse 31) - including woman.

So man and woman were both perfect in their creation. They were both created in the image of God. Woman, indeed, was created for man, but a simple study of male anatomy will show that man also was created for woman. There is nothing in the creation account to imply female inferiority, male superiority, or to justify a man lording it over his wife.

Returning to Jesus' encounter with the Pharisees: After He had cited the Genesis account and made His oft-quoted statement, "What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder," the Pharisees replied, "Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?"

An important question is asked, and a vital answer is given.

"He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your heart suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so" (verse 8).

Jesus clearly states that God had an original intent for man and woman which had gone astray through human weakness. The permission of divorce under Moses was not an expression of the original intent of God. It was an accommodation to human weakness and a merciful response to human sin.

The First Sin

Man went astray so soon! The very first man and the very first woman sinned and changed the course of history for all mankind. The account of this sin is found in the third chapter of Genesis, and it's from this account that much of the understanding (and misunderstanding) of the nature of woman has proceeded.

Now the serpent was more subtle than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said unto the woman, "Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?" [Genesis 3:1]

Tertullian no doubt would have underlined the word woman and observed that Satan struck at the first family through its weakest link. Some modern interpreters have done the same, but it is a gratuitous assumption. There is nothing in the Genesis account to indicate any such thing. Some of the same interpreters who tell us that Satan will strike the family at its weakest link will also tell us that Satan likes to strike a religious organization at the very top.

The story of the deception of Eve is familiar. She responds to the serpent with an accurate accounting of God's commandment. The serpent questions God's motives and lies to the woman about what the tree is really for.

And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.

From this account Tertullian derives his assertion, "You are the Devil's gateways; you are the unsealer of that forbidden tree: you are the first deserter of the divine law: you are she who persuaded him whom the Devil was not valiant enough to attack. You destroyed so easily God's image, man. On account of Your desert - that is death - even the Son of God had to die." But wait. It is true that the woman was first in transgression, but she was not alone in it. Her husband was with her!

It is curious that so few have noticed the argument that Satan struck at the family through its weakest link is self-defeating. If Adam was morally the stronger of the two, why did he not speak? Why did he not argue with Satan? Why did he not assume the role of leadership in this situation? We are presented with an image of Eve carrying on a dialogue with the serpent while Adam stands meekly by. Eve turns and hands the forbidden fruit to her husband and he eats, no questions asked! Eve was first in the transgression to be sure, but why do we assume she was worst?

Perhaps some of this derives from other biblical writers, such as Paul. Consider the following from Paul's first letter to Timothy:

Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, not to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression [I Timothy 2:11-14].

This scripture has sometimes been used by churchmen to argue that woman was the "first cause" of sin in the world. That she was the one who was guilty, not Adam. This argument is also self-defeating. Look carefully at verse 14. We are told that Adam was not deceived while Eve was. Question: Who has the greater responsibility? The one who is deceived and sins or the one who is not deceived and sins? (see Luke 12:47, 48.)

Paul answers this question for us elsewhere, and he does so without ambiguity:

Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned ... Nevertheless death reigned from Adam to Moses, even over them that had not sinned after the similitude of Adam's transgression ... For if by one man's offence death reigned by one; much more they that received abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness shall reign in life by one, Jesus Christ [Romans 5:12-17].

Isn't it interesting that in this account of what many call the "original sin" full responsibility for the introduction of sin in the world is laid at the feet of Adam, not Eve?

Why, then, does Paul seem to lay the responsibility at Eve's feet in his letter to Timothy? Let's look at it again, but this time let's look at the entire context of chapter 2. The subject of the chapter is prayers, intercession and giving of thanks. Paul exhorts that prayers be made for kings and all in authority and, indeed, for all men. The context of Paul's remarks about women begins in verse 8:

I will therefore that men pray everywhere, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting. In like manner also that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.

The wording almost sounds like a shift in context between verse 8 and verse 9. It sounds like verse 8 is talking about prayer and verse 9 is talking about women's apparel. The words "in like manner," however, imply that he is also talking about women praying but that he is concerned that the women in Timothy's church may be giving more attention to their appearance than to their attitude and their prayers.

Is Paul suggesting that women should not braid their hair? If they have a gold wedding ring, are they not to wear it? If their husbands should give them a gift of lovely cultured pearls, are they to leave them in a box at home? Somehow, this seems unlikely, especially in view of God's own conduct toward Israel recorded in Ezekiel 16:10-12. Here God is pictured as clothing Israel with badger's skins, fine linen and silk. He is pictured as decking Israel with ornaments, bracelets, neck chains, jewels, earrings and even & beautiful crown.

It seems plain enough that Paul is correcting women who would try to substitute outward appearance for the inner attitude.

Why, then, does Paul draw the Genesis account of the woman's first sin into this exhortation? What Paul is doing is drawing a historical analogy from the book of Genesis in order to remind women that no matter how polished, no matter how cultured, no matter how prim, no matter how proper they may be, they are subject to deception and sin. Women are not morally superior. Any arrogance on their part is out of line. It is as simple as that. Paul is not trying to establish a doctrine that women may not wear jewelry; nor is he trying to establish a doctrine of female inferiority or blaming women for the sins of all mankind. It simply appears from the context that there were a few women in Timothy's church who had become vain and may have been trying to usurp authority over their husbands or even over Timothy himself.

It's an old, old story. Jesus, Paul and the other apostles had indeed been champions of women in their society. Paul had written: "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus" (Galatians 3:28). The women in the church had come to appreciate fully their "liberty in Christ." But it seems inevitable that in any such situation there will be a few who will carry things entirely too far. A few women, having experienced even greater liberation than the men had experienced, may well have become somewhat arrogant - even to an assumption of female superiority.

It would be a terrible mistake to take Paul's writings out of context and use them in an attempt to establish female inferiority.

We should also point out that it would be a mistake to take too literally Paul's admonition that a woman should not teach. For he wrote to Titus with some specific instructions for older women in the church:

That they [the older women] may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home [Greek: keepers of the house], good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed [Titus 2:4, 51.

What Paul seems to be saying to Timothy is that women should not teach men [ABCOG:????] - not that they shouldn't teach at all.

Another note in passing: Paul was not trying to suggest in his comments to Titus that women should be confined to the home. The expression is not "keepers at home," but "keepers of the house." When coupled with Proverbs 31:10-31, the position of keeper of the house obviously is one of considerable responsibility - she is not just another household servant. We'll have more to say on Paul's writings later.

The First Punishment

Returning to the third chapter of Genesis, we find Adam and Eve so smitten with guilt that they hide themselves from the presence of God among the trees of the garden (Genesis 3:8). After God had made inquiry of them as to what had happened, He immediately cursed the serpent:

And the Lord God said unto the serpent, Because thou hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life: And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel [verses 14, 15].

It's important to notice in this account that God curses only the ground (verse 17) and the serpent. He does not curse the man. He does not curse the woman.

Both the man and the woman, however, must bear their punishment. In the pronouncing of the punishment upon man and woman, there are two words in common to both - the words "in sorrow," which mean in pain, anguish or struggle. No change in the role of man or the role of woman is suggested. What is suggested is that the woman shall bear children in sorrow.

It is important enough to repeat: In punishing the man and the woman, God did not change their sociological roles. Neither the design of women to nurture children, nor the design of man to protect and provide, were changed. But it was not going to be easy any more.

Also, in verse 16, God says to the woman: "And thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee." Notice that this passage is descriptive, not prescriptive. It is in the simple future tense (he shall), not the imperative (he must). God is not describing the way things should be, but the way they will be as the result of sin. And in truth down through all generations woman has been dominated. In nearly every society the woman has experienced the rule of man. She has been treated like a slave and even bought and sold. Often robbed of her human rights, she was treated as chattel or property by her husband.

But from the beginning it was not so.

This passage is not a description of the way God wants things to be, but the way they will be when men go contrary to His words. It is not God's will for man to "lord it over" his wife. For a Christian to use this verse to justify the oppression of his wife is an utter travesty! The Christian man and wife should be one flesh as it was from the beginning.

Can a Woman Lead?

If indeed it was God's intent that women be subordinated to men throughout history, we should expect God to assiduously avoid circumstances where women dominate. Is this the case? Has God ever used a woman in a position of leadership over men?

The answer is a clear and resounding yes!

Perhaps the most notable example in Scripture is a woman named Deborah - a prophetess and a judge in Israel in the years following Joshua. She is introduced to us in the fourth chapter of Judges:

And Deborah, a prophetess, the wife of Lapidoth, she judged Israel at that time. And she dwelt under the palm tree of Deborah between Ramah and Bethel in Mount Ephraim: and the children of Israel came up to her for judgment [Judges 4:4, 5].

There can be little doubt that Deborah was the dominant leader in Israel at this time. It is evident from the fact that when she sent for Barak, the military commander, he came at her bidding (verse 6).

Deborah was a prophetess. The Hebrew word for prophet is nabi, and its feminine form is nebiah. There are many different sorts of prophets to be found in the Bible, but essentially a prophet or a prophetess is one through whom God speaks. Consequently, when she called Barak he realized that God had a message for him.

Her message was simple. God had commanded Barak to go and take 10,000 men to fight against Sisera the captain of Jabin's army. Barak's response is of considerable interest: "And Barak said unto her, If thou wilt go with me, then I will go: but if thou wilt not go with me, then I will not go" (verse 8). He was dependent upon this woman not only as a messenger of God, but as a source of moral support and as an obvious leader - although not herself a military leader.

Deborah went with him, but she warned that the honor of the battle would not be Barak's, but the Lord would give Sisera into the hand of a woman. The battle was fought, Sisera and his men fled in disarray, and Sisera himself was killed by a woman named Jael who drove a tent peg through his head.

The entire account would be strange indeed if God shared the inclinations of Tertullian, Augustine and Jerome. Clearly He does not.

Some interpreters are fond of citing this period in Israel as a time when all the men were so weak that there was no one left but a woman to lead Israel - as though it were a low point in Israel's history. Yet, it was a time when a great battle was fought and won followed by 40 years of peace. A strange circumstance for a time when God was so displeased with the character of the men of Israel.

The truth is that God simply chose a woman to hold the position of leadership during this particular point in history.

Miriam and Huldah

There are two other prophetesses of note in the Bible. The first is Miriam, Moses' sister. In Exodus the 15th chapter we find "Miriam the prophetess, the sister of Aaron," taking a timbrel in her hand and leading all the women in a song of triumph. Her words have found their way into Scripture as the song of Miriam.

Much later in Israel's history King Josiah began to reign. In his 18th year, a book was discovered in the temple - it was the book of the law. When King Josiah heard the words of the law read to him, he rent his clothes and immediately sent to inquire of God for he realized that the wrath of God was upon these people because they had not listened to the words of this book. So he sent Hilkiah the priest and others to inquire of God. They went to a woman named Huldah, a prophetess.

And she said unto them, thus saith the Lord God of Israel, tell the man that sent you to me, thus saith the Lord ...

Thus begins a rather lengthy prophecy about the evil that was to befall Israel, and a promise that it would not fall in the days of Josiah because of his humility before God. It is a simple account, but it underlines once more that occasionally, for reasons of His own, God decides to speak to man through a woman.

To be sure instances of feminine leadership were rare indeed in Old Testament times. But, then, instances of righteous male leadership are rare enough as well.

It isn't as though God wanted to establish feminine dominance, or even to erode the principle of male leadership. But it may have been necessary for Him to make a statement that women were not to be treated as man's inferiors.

Makeup

Before we leave the Old Testament completely, it might be well to give a little attention to the question of Christian women and makeup. Relatively few Christian sects these days prohibit women from wearing makeup. Most of those that do seem to be holdovers from another era when "respectable" women in society did not wear makeup. Some of these groups still try to find biblical support for their position and quite forcefully forbid women to wear makeup in church - some forbid the wearing of it at any time.

It is of singular importance to note that nowhere does the Bible specifically forbid women to wear makeup. It is not mentioned at all in the law of God or the teachings of Christ. All of the reasons advanced for not wearing makeup are inferences from prophetic writings. There are four principal scriptures that are advanced.

Probably the earliest reference is found in II Kings 9:30 and recounts an instance of Jezebel painting her eyes: "When Jehu was come to Jezreel, Jezebel heard of it; and she painted her eyes, and adorned her head, and looked out of the window," (II Kings 9:30, RSV).

There really is very little to be learned about makeup from this verse. Jezebel is, of course, used in the Bible as a bad example, but it would be impossible to derive from this verse alone that makeup was wrong. One thing is evident from the verse: she had no intent of seduction! When she leaned out the window, she said to Jehu, "Is it peace, you Zimri, murderer of your master." This is hardly a seductive speech - it is rather bald provocation. It may well be that Jezebel knew her death was near, so she faced it defiantly. She prepared herself completely all the way to eye makeup and head ornaments and then defiantly flung her accusation in Jehu's face.

All this verse tells us is that Jezebel once used eye makeup. Anything more is drawn from [ABCOg:???] human reasoning.

The next reference that is often quoted does not even refer to makeup. It is found in Isaiah 3:16:

Because the daughters of Zion are haughty, and walk with outstretched necks, glancing wantonly with their eyes, mincing along as they go, tinkling with their feet; the Lord will smite with a scab the heads of the daughters of Zion, and the Lord will lay bare their secret parts.

Adam Clark's Commentary speculates that the expression "wanton eyes" (Authorized Version) was a reference to "falsely setting off the eyes with paint." As it turns out, the Revised Standard Version translation is quite correct in saying that it is the glances of the daughters of Zion that are wanton and not the eyes. The verse doesn't mention eye makeup at all.

The context of the verse is instructive, however, in the matter of drawing inferences from prophetic writings. Read the judgment of God beginning in verse 18:

In that day the Lord will take away the finery of the anklets, the headbands, and the crescents; the pendants, the bracelets, the scarfs; the headdresses, the armlets, the sashes, the perfume boxes, and the amulets; the signet rings and nose rings; the festal robes, the mantles, the cloaks, and the handbags; the garments of gauze, the linen garments, the turbans, and the veils. Instead of perfume there will be rottenness; instead of the girdle, a rope; instead of well-set hair, baldness; and instead of a rich robe, a girding of sackcloth; instead of beauty, shame. Your men shall fall by the sword and your mighty men in battle. And her gates shall lament and mourn; ravaged, she shall sit upon the ground [Isaiah 3:18-26, RSV]

It would not be difficult for some preachers to infer from this verse that God does not approve of women wearing anklets, headbands, crescents, armlets, sashes, signet rings, nose rings, etc. One could conclude that He did not approve of the use of perfume or the setting of hair.

In making such a conclusion, however, one would entirely miss the point. The prophecy begins with the statement, "Because the daughters of Zion are haughty ..." What follows is a promise from God of the reduction of their arrogance to abject humility. Anyone should be able to understand that God has no objection to beauty (verse 24).

But because of their arrogance they will lose their beauty. The same is true of all the outward trappings of beauty and wealth. There is no sin in signet rings and perfume boxes. There is sin, however, in arrogance.

The next scripture used by some churchmen to condemn makeup is found in Jeremiah 4:30. We'll need to go back to verse 27 to get a feeling for the context:

The whole land shall be a desolation; yet I will not make a full end. For this the earth shall mourn, and the heavens above be black; for I have spoken, I have purposed; I have not relented nor will I turn back.

The picture is clear. We are dealing with the time of the Day of the Lord. Earlier, in verse 19, Jeremiah says, "My heart! My heart is beating wildly; I cannot keep silent; for I hear the sound of the trumpet, the alarm of war."

What does all this have to do with a woman wearing makeup? Continuing with the context in verse 29:

At the noise of horsemen and archer every city takes to flight; they enter thickets; they climb among rocks; all the cities are forsaken, and no man dwells in them. And you, O desolate one, what do you mean that you dress in scarlet, that you deck yourself with ornaments of gold, that you enlarge your eyes with paint? In vain you beautify yourself. Your lovers despise you; they seek your life [Jeremiah 4:29, 30].

What does this picture? The nation of Israel is pictured as a desolate woman in a time of trouble. The mountains are quaking, the skies are black, the alarm of war has sounded. And what does foolish Israel do? She dresses herself in her most expensive scarlet dress. She decks herself with all of her ornaments of gold and makes up her face. She beautifies herself to try to turn her lovers' anger away, but it fails utterly. This scriptures says nothing about the good or evil of eye makeup. It speaks only of the futility of attempting to beautify yourself in the day of God's wrath. Not only is an attempt to make up the eyes futile, so is dressing in scarlet and decking oneself with ornaments of gold. How can one insist from this scripture that eye makeup is a sin but that wearing of gold or scarlet apparel is not a sin. It isn't just reason that calls for this conclusion; honesty demands it. This scripture no more condemns the wearing of eye makeup than it does the wearing of golden ornaments, which God specifically permits (Ezekiel 16:11-14). Further, the passage allows that the purpose of eye makeup is beautification - any idea of seduction must be reasoned indirectly.

The next scripture advanced to argue that makeup is a sin is Ezekiel 23:40, where the two harlots, Ahola and Aholibah (Israel and Judah), prepared themselves for their lovers:

They even sent for men to come from far, to whom a messenger was sent, and lo they came. For them you bathed yourself, painted your eyes, and decked yourself with ornaments; you sat upon a stately couch, with a table spread before it on which you had placed my incense and my oil.

What is the point of this passage? Makeup is used in this passage as a part of the process of a woman beautifying herself and preparing herself for an illicit lover. Painting her eyes in this context is also coupled with bathing!

About the most one can conclude from this verse is that there is a negative inference connected with the use of makeup - nothing more. We have already seen, however, that we have to be careful about drawing negative inferences. In this case bathing is cast in just as negative a light as is painting of the eyes!

The fact is that none of these scriptures shows that the use of makeup is a sin! If one accepts the assumption that makeup is a sin, then they can be used (or misused) as negative inferences to underline that assumption. But one must look elsewhere for the proof.

We have already noted that neither the law nor the teachings of Christ say anything at all about what women put on their faces. Interestingly enough, however, there are some specific instructions in the law dealing with the faces of men. In Leviticus 19:27, Moses commands, "Ye shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shalt thou mar [harm] the corners of your beard." More than one religious sect has taken this to mean that it is wrong for godly men to shave their beards or cut their hair. Some simply dismiss the scripture as "Old Testament," but others, who believe in keeping the laws of the Old Testament, still don't grow beards. Why not? What is the rationale one might use to explain this scripture?

The answer is relatively simple. The Living Bible translates it thus: "You must not trim off your hair on your temples or clip the edges of your beard, as the heathen do." What is here condemned is not the trimming of the beard, but the shaping of the beard to convey pagan images. It was an ancient custom, for example, to trim the hair of the head and the beard to create a circle around the face - the circle being symbolic of the sun. In this version the mustache was shaved off completely. The wearing of the beard in this case was a means of nonverbal communication - it said, "I am a sun worshiper."

It is easy enough to justify the shaving of the beard completely because we say that we are not doing it "as the heathen do." We are doing it to project a clean-shaven look rather than to project images of heathenism. Today, we tend to strive for the "clean cut" look, rather than the rugged masculine look of a full beard.

Why would the same principle not apply to makeup? Makeup is indeed a form of nonverbal communication and it can be applied in such a way as to say all sorts of different things - just as a man's beard could be trimmed to make different statements about pagan gods. A woman can be made up to look like a harlot, or she can be made up to look pink-cheeked and wholesome.

Since makeup isn't mentioned in the law of God, and trimming the beard is, how can we condemn the wearing of makeup while we allow men to shave their beards? If we rationalize the trimming of the beard based upon the attitude and intent of the man who does it, why can't we do the same thing for a woman wearing makeup?

Does Makeup Deceive?

Another argument advanced is that makeup is deceptive and Christian women should not deceive. It is difficult indeed to follow the argument that makeup is wrong on the grounds it is deceptive. Just how deceptive is it, anyway? Are women's lips really scarlet? Is a man likely to look at a woman's lips and be deceived - believing that they really are that color - that she is not wearing lipstick? Is a man likely to be deceived and to really believe that a woman's eyelids are green or blue?

The truth is that makeup is not generally worn to deceive, but to enhance - to beautify. A stylish woman selects her makeup much the same way she selects her clothes. She wants to draw attention to her good features while playing down her bad features.

One other reference should at least be considered in the matter. In the Song of Solomon, chapter 4, verse 3, we read,"Thy lips are like a thread of scarlet, and thy speech is comely: thy temples are like a piece of pomegranate within thy locks."

What woman's lips are naturally like a thread of scarlet? Perhaps a blush might reach the temples with a comely pink, but the color of pomegranate? To be sure, it is an obscure reference, but one might be justified in thinking he saw an indication of the use of makeup.

A Gesture of Humility

There doubtless are sincere Christian women who have read the Scriptures and have come to the conclusion that they personally do not wish to wear makeup. They know their own heart, they know their own struggle, and they have chosen, in genuine humility, not to wear makeup, expensive clothes, etc. People who are doing this out of a sincere heart and in humility before their God deserve our respect.

On the other hand, there are those, men and women, who insist on judging others and imputing motives. It is no small thing to imply that a Christian woman of fine character and high moral principle is following the harlots merely because she tries to make up her face to look healthy and wholesome.

When we see that there really isn't any biblical support for a "no makeup" doctrine, we are left to wonder why such a doctrine exists at all. We suspect that it may be due more to the dualism [ABCOG: "pure" soul encased in evil flesh] of Augustine and the sexual repression of Jerome than an honest exposition of the Scriptures.

Go to Part 2: Jesus, Paul and women

By Ronald L. Dart, 1982
www.cemnetwork.com

Submission? Oppression? Liberation? The woman in home and church...
The Christian Woman
Part 2
Jesus and Women

"Born to Win"
Daily Radio Program
by Ronald L. Dart
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Ronald L. Dart: As Leonard Swidler aptly points out, "The first thing to be noticed about Jesus and women is that in all of the four gospels, nowhere does Jesus treat women as inferior" (Biblical Affirmations of Woman, page 163). From our comfortable 20th century vantage point, it may seem unremarkable that Jesus should at no time in His ministry express negative attitudes toward women. It is, however, quite remarkable viewed in the light of first century attitudes toward women. Rabbi Eliezer of that century is quoted as saying, "Rather should the words of the Torah be burned than entrusted to a woman!" The historian Josephus states, "The woman, says the law, is in all things inferior to the man." Jewish men of the day, following the Greek tradition, prayed daily in thanks to God that He had not made them woman. Jewish men would not be seen talking to a woman in public - not even their wives! Under no circumstances should a woman touch a man in public.

Into this world comes a man with a totally different attitude toward women.

Perhaps the most important thing in Jesus' gospel is that He preached a personal salvation - and this personalism extended to women. This was revealed, almost inadvertently, in a chance encounter with the Sadducees, who believed there is no resurrection from the dead. The object of the encounter was to trap Him with one of their favorite questions.

They were fond of asking the Pharisees, who believed in the resurrection, a question deriving from the Mosaic law which provided that if a man's brother died with his wife having had no children, then his brother should take his wife and raise up seed to his brother. The law in question comes from Deuteronomy 25:5.

The Sadducees then posed this question based upon the law:

There were therefore seven brethren: and the first took a wife, and died without children. And the second took her to wife and he died childless. And the third took her; and in like manner the seven also: and they left no children, and died. Last of all the woman died also. Therefore in the resurrection whose wife of them is she? for seven had her to wife [Luke 20:27-33].

Their question is almost as revealing as Christ's answer. Clearly they understood woman as belonging to man even in the Kingdom of God!

Jesus' answer is of vital importance:

And Jesus answering said unto them, The children of this world marry, and are given in marriage: But they which shall be accounted worthy to obtain that world, and the resurrection from the dead, neither marry, nor are given in marriage: Neither can they die any more: for they are equal unto the angels; and are the children of God, being the children of the resurrection [Luke 20:34-36].

According to Jesus, women are equally the children of God with men in the resurrection. Men and women are equal as objects of salvation.

The Sadducees' question about who the woman would belong to was rejected as containing a false assumption. Jesus did not see a woman's existence as totally defined by her relationships to a man - in other words as someone's daughter, wife, mother, widow or harlot. Jesus saw women first of all as individuals with personal access to God and His Kingdom.

The Dignity of Woman

In the gospel account, we frequently find Jesus using women in His stories and parables, but there is a remarkable omission from these stories. In His parables, Jesus never casts negative images of women. He speaks of unjust judges, harsh and cruel masters, wicked and slothful servants, but every image of women is positive. In one of His parables - the parable of the unjust judge - He casts a poor widow against an unjust male judge and commends the widow as an example of persistence in prayer.

It is no accident that Jesus is careful to maintain the dignity of women. He lived in an age when few would. He did not share the attitudes of His predecessors or His contemporaries and it was important that He made a statement about His attitude toward women.

No wonder He had such a strong and loyal following among women! It might be worthy noting the remarks of a modern Jewish scholar who comments on Jesus' teachings on divorce!

In these verses the originality of Jesus is made manifest. So far, in the sermon on the mount, we have found nothing that goes beyond Rabbinic religion and Rabbinic morality, or which greatly differs from them. Here we do. The attitude of Jesus toward women is very striking. He breaks through oriental limitations in more directions than one. For (1) He associates with, and is much looked after by, women in a manner that was unusual; (2) He is more strict about divorce; (3) He is also more merciful and compassionate. He is a great champion of womanhood, and in this combination of freedom and pity, as well as in His strict attitude to divorce, He makes a new departure of enormous significance and importance. If He had done no more than this, He might be justly regarded as one of the greatest teachers of the world [Claude G. Montfiore, Rabbinic Literature and Gospel Teaching, pages 217 f.; London, 1930].

The Sinful Woman

On the occasions where Jesus did come into contact with a woman who was a sinner, His attitude was one of total forgiveness. There are two exceptional incidents in Jesus' ministry, and they provide perhaps the greatest encouragement Christ gave to penitent sinners.

A profoundly moving incident took place at the home of a Pharisee who had invited Jesus to dinner. When Jesus was reclining at the table in the Pharisee's home, a woman of the city with a bad reputation - she was "a sinner" - knelt behind Him weeping and began to wash His feet with tears, to wipe them with the hairs of her head, and to kiss His feet and anoint them with ointment. The incident is all the more remarkable when we understand that in that society a man did not publicly speak to his own wife, let alone to a strange woman and especially to a known "sinner." It was unheard of for a Jew - especially a Rabbi - to be seen speaking with such a woman, but Jesus not only spoke with her but let her touch Him and kiss Him. It was a scandalous thing for a woman to let her hair down in public - so scandalous, in fact, that it was grounds for divorce. This woman uncovered her hair, loosed it, and wiped Jesus' feet with it. Jesus was deeply moved. The Pharisee was thoroughly offended.

Jesus contrasted the woman's attitude with that of the Pharisee and continued: "Wherefore I say unto thee, her sins which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little" (Luke 7:47).

More than one Christian has knelt before his God in tears of gratitude to realize that, no matter how wretched we become, utter and complete forgiveness is possible from Christ. We know thanks to a "fallen woman" who broken-heartedly washed Jesus' feet with tears of sorrow.

It is strange, isn't it, that even when Jesus encounters a woman who is a sinner He manages to use her as an example of love.

On another occasion Jesus was presented with a woman who was a sinner in a totally different context. This time Jesus was sitting in the Temple early in the morning and the Pharisees brought to Him a woman who had been taken in the act of adultery. Their purpose was to put Him on the horns of a dilemma. He was, of course, a respected teacher of the law, but on the other hand they were living in a Roman society. If He said that the woman should not be stoned, then He was rejecting the law of Moses. If He said they should go ahead and stone the woman, he was in conflict with Roman law.

But it may be that a much deeper factor was involved here. By this time in His ministry, Jesus was already known as a champion of women. His behavior was in much too great a contrast to the society around Him. They were also presenting Him with the dilemma of retaining His reputation as a rabbi and teacher of the law or retaining His reputation as a champion of women. They felt He could not do both.

The Scribes and the Pharisees preferred to deal with such situations impersonally, and concerned themselves solely with the legalities involved in dealing with the situation in the abstract. Jesus side-stepped all the legalisms and abstractions, and dealt directly with the persons involved. He said: "He [the person] that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her [the person accused]" (John 8:7).

No one in the crowd, then, could deal with this as a pure abstraction. They had to look at themselves as persons, and perhaps for the first time in their lives look at a woman as a person.

And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst [John 8:9].

The visual image is powerful. We see Jesus, seated and writing on the ground [perhaps play-acting the role of a judge (as they had asked him to do), writing down the judicial sentence against all of them]. We see a woman standing a few paces in front of Him, silent, alone.

When Jesus had lifted up Himself, and saw none but the woman, He said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee? She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more [verses 10, 11].

In these instances, Jesus chose to illustrate an uncondemning attitude to the most desperate of sinners in His society. For it was bad enough to be a woman in Jewish society of the first century. It was much worse to be a woman condemned.

There are more examples that could be drawn, but these will suffice to show that Jesus was indeed a champion of women. Among those He came to set free - the blind, the halt, the oppressed - how could He neglect one of the most oppressed classes of his day - the woman?

The Missing Apostle

As His ministry progressed, Jesus made many disciples, men and women. The time came when it was necessary for Him to choose 12 of these disciples for a special responsibility. They were to be named apostles - there were to be 12 of them as apostles (official witnesses) of His resurrection.

Before making this decision, Jesus went out into a mountain to pray and continued all night in prayer to God. The next day He called His disciples together and of them He chose 12 whom He named apostles. He chose Simon Peter, Andrew, James, John, Philip, Bartholomew, Matthew, Thomas, James, Simon Zelotes, Judas and Judas Iscariot (Luke 6:12-16).

Is there anything unusual about this list? Viewed in the light of first century social customs, it is certainly unremarkable. But viewed in the light of Jesus' record and His credentials as a champion of women, it is remarkable indeed. He appointed no woman to this responsibility.

This decision was no oversight. Jesus had spent the entire night in prayer before the decision was made. It was a prayerful, reasoned decision. Nor was it an accommodation to a prejudiced society. That would have been totally out of character for this unconventional man.

Later, when the replacement for Judas was selected, two men, Joseph and Matthias, were put forward for selection. It was apparently not within the plan of Jesus Christ that a woman be named among the 12 apostles.

Still later, when the next step in the development of the ministry takes place, we have a situation where a woman might well have been named.

And in those days, when the number of the disciples was multiplied, there arose a murmuring of the Grecians against the Hebrews, because their widows were neglected in the daily ministration [Acts 6:1].

(The word "ministration" is the Greek diakonia, the word from which we get the word "deacon." in its various forms, it is most often translated "minister," "ministry," or "to minister.")

The twelve apostles called an assembly of the disciples and reasoned that it was not sensible for them to leave the preaching of the Word of God in order to take care of the ministry of the more physical needs of the church. This appears to be the beginning of the pastoral ministry.

They then called upon the brethren to select "seven men" whom they might appoint over this matter. So they chose Steven, Philip, Prochorus, Nicanor, Timon, Parmenas and Nicolas - all men.

Why? We might be tempted to argue that the apostles were engaging in male chauvinism when they selected these seven ministers, but we can't argue that about Jesus' selection of the original twelve.

What then? Were women not to be involved in the work of the church? Hardly. The book of Acts and the epistles are replete with illustrations of women very active in the work of the church.

In the 16th chapter of Romans, Paul mentions a number of women who were active in the work, naming Phebe as a deaconess. "I commend unto you Phebe, our sister, which is a deaconess of the church which is at Cenchrea" (Romans 16:1). The word translated servant in the King James Version is the Greek word for deacon - translated minister in most applications in the New Testament. Doubtless Phebe was a servant of the church at Cenchrea, and the indication is that she was an official servant, not just one who helped out. This is particularly evident in verse 2 where Paul admonishes the Romans to receive her "in the Lord" and to give her whatever assistance she needs, saying, "For she hath been a succourer [Greek: prostatis] of many, and of myself also" (Romans 16:2).

It is curious that most translations sidestep the meaning of the Greek word prostatis. The Revised Standard Version translates it "helper" and the New English Bible, normally very, accurate, makes a complete departure, translating it as "good friend." The word is used only once in the New Testament, but its meaning is well known from classical Greek. It means, properly, a woman set over others. A prostatis is a female guardian, or protector. It is derived from the Greek verb which means "to be over, to superintend, or preside over." It includes the meaning of "to care for, or give attention to," in the sense of one who is responsible. Clearly Phebe was a highly responsible woman in the church.

[ABCOG: Early "church father" Origen wrote: "This text teaches with the authority of the Apostle that ... there are, as we have said already said, women deacons in the Church, and that women, who have given assistance to so many people and who by thier good works deserve to be praised by the Apostel, ought to be accepted in the diaconate."]

Immediately following, Paul sends greetings to Priscilla and Aquila, his "co-workers" in Christ Jesus. The word "helpers" in the King James Version is incorrect because the Greek word includes a prefix which shows that they are helpers together with Paul - co-workers. It is very evident that Priscilla was active as well as her husband. In fact, we find them mentioned in the book of Acts carrying out a singularly important role in educating a powerful preacher - Apollos. It was not just Aquila who expounded the way of God more perfectly to Apollos, but Aquila and Priscilla (Acts 18:26). It was Priscilla and Aquila who together risked their lives for the sake of Paul (Romans 16:4).

Paul was at great pains to salute and honor those women in Rome who had labored "in the Lord." Two of these are Tryphena and Tryphosa (Romans 16:12). He also salutes another woman, Persis, who "much labored" (worked especially hard) in the Lord (verse 12). Mary also is commended for her hard work for Paul and the others (Romans 16:6).

In writing to the Philippians, Paul mentions two other women, Euodias and Syntyche, who worked with him, and exhorts the Philippians to "help those women which labored with me in the gospel" (Philippians 4:2, 3).

The Personal Ministry

When we consider Jesus' attitude toward women set in such powerful contrast to the prevailing attitudes of His day, and when we see the deep involvement of women in the work of the early church, we are still left with the important question of why Jesus did not include a woman among the original 12 apostles and why no woman was named in the ordinations of Acts 6.

There seems to be a distinction in the New Testament between levels of the ministry. On the one hand, we have the public ministry of the apostles and men like Stephen, Philip and Apollos. On the other hand there seems to be a personal ministry of men like Aquila, women like Euodias, Syntyche, Mary, Tryphena, Tryphosa and Persis. While it seems to be pleasing to God for women to be involved in a personal ministry, it was apparently not Jesus' intent that women become involved in a public ministry. We will find this borne out by Paul's teachings in his later epistles.

I Corinthians 14

Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home; for it is a shame for women to speak in the church [I Corinthians 14:34, 35].

[ABCOG: Laurence Iannaccone (1982) suggests that Paul is here quoting his opponents in Corinth, which he then immediately refutes, by saying "forbid not ...]

Adam Clark correctly points out in his commentary on this book that the early church had up until this time followed the tradition of the Jewish synagogue service. It was a Jewish ordinance that women were not permitted to teach in the assemblies or even to ask questions. Does this passage of Scripture, then, mean that it's not permitted for a woman to receive a message or inspiration from God and then convey that message to others?

Adam Clark points out that Paul is not being at all inconsistent:

It is evident from the context that the apostle refers here to asking questions, and what we call dictating in the assemblies. It was permitted to any man to ask questions, to object, altercate, attempt to refute, etc., in the synagogue, this liberty was not allowed to any woman. St. Paul confirms this in reference also to the Christian church; he orders them to keep silence; and if they wish to learn anything, let them inquire of their husbands at home; because it was perfectly indecorous for women to be contending with men, in public assemblies, on points of doctrine, cases of conscience, etc. But this by no means intimated that when a woman received any particular influence from God to enable her to teach, that she was not to obey that influence; on the contrary she was to obey it, and the apostle lays down directions in Chapter 11 for regulating her personal appearance when thus employed. All that the apostle opposes here is their questioning, finding fault, disputing, etc., in the Christian church, as the Jewish men were permitted to do in their synagogues; together with the attempts to usurp any authority over the man, by setting up their judgment in opposition to them; for the apostle has in view, especially, acts of disobedience, arrogance, etc., of which no woman would be guilty who was under the influence of the Spirit of God [Adam Clark, Clark's Commentary, Volume 6, I Corinthians 14:34].

As we have before observed, the church had up until this time continued to observe the Jewish tradition of the synagogue. This chapter represents one of the first instructions to the New Testament church modifying that tradition. Apparently the Corinthians church degenerated into a certain amount of confusion to which the synagogue had generally not been subjected. It arose because of the gifts of prophecy and the gifts of tongues that existed in the church. Since God was not the author of confusion (verse 33), Paul felt that a certain amount of order had to be introduced into the services. Consequently, he makes a modest change in the traditions of the church.

But why is it that Christian churches today do not follow the pattern of services revealed in I Corinthians 14? The answer is relatively simple. These instructions represent a modification of church tradition - something that Paul had the full authority to do. The combined ministry of the 20th century church has the same authority - they may modify tradition as necessary to meet changing times and circumstances. There is ample evidence in the New Testament that church tradition, while binding upon a Christian (Matthew 16:19) could be changed in ways that the law of God could not. I Corinthians 11:17-34 is a case in point. It is obvious that the traditional Passover service had included a meal prior to this epistle. Paul changes all that, and the change endures to this day.

We in the 20th century church draw inferences from apostolic tradition and do our best to adhere to it. We do not, however, feel bound to it in all of its parts. For example, we do not strictly adhere to the structure of the ministry described in I Corinthians 12 and Ephesians 4 [ABCOG:???]; we follow an entirely different order of service in church; we allow women to sing in church; and we are generally not hesitant to allow women to ask questions in a Bible study.

Most Christian churches, however, still observe the distinction between the public and personal ministry, and, while encouraging women to become involved in a personal ministry, many still do not place women in the public ministry.

Carefully restudying Paul's remarks in I Corinthians 14, we can easily come to the conclusion that Paul was not attempting to "put down" the "weaker" sex. That would be a blatant contradiction of what he wrote in Galatians 3:28. Rather he is indicating that it is "indecorous" - it is beneath the woman - for her to engage in a verbal rough and tumble in church. It is a matter of retaining our respect for women rather than getting involved in an argument with them. Hopefully someone soon concluded that it was also indecorous for men to engage in such conduct.

Although Paul is not putting women down in this text, he nevertheless seems to support the suggestion that women should not be involved in a public ministry. But why? The answer is not easily seen, but perhaps we can lay some groundwork which will help us understand.

[ABCOG: problem of unavailability of men??]

The Christian Family

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and He is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing [Ephesians 5:22-24].

What a shattering admonition! Preached in stentorian tones, and with the emphasis placed just so, this scripture could be made to sound like Paul has reverted completely to the Jewish and Greek customs and has gone back from the attitude and teachings of Christ. This interpretation stands as a monument to the human proclivity for seeing what we want to see or expect to see. Like any other scripture, this passage must be viewed in its context.

This passage and the verses following are given in illustration of the admonition of verse 21:

Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ; submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.

For those of us who are used to traditional patterns of dominance-submission, one of the most difficult concepts to fathom is the New Testament concept of mutual submission. Paul is speaking primarily concerning Christ and the church in this passage (verse 32), but his illustration involves marriage and the family. Having exhorted us to submit ourselves to one another in the fear of God, he explains what kind of submission he's talking about. First, wives are admonished to submit themselves to their own husbands. Then the husbands are told to love their wives as Christ loved the church. The wife is exhorted to submit herself to the leadership of her husband, and the husband is exhorted to submit himself to the needs and desires of his wife and family.

This is not describing the sort of family where the woman has to flee the home with her children and go to a crisis center where she can be protected from her brutal husband. This is describing an ideal Christian family.

There is an important qualification in Paul's designation of the husband as the head of the family: "For the husband is the head of the woman, even as Christ is the head of the church."

Just what sort of relationship is this?

On the night of the Last Supper, when Jesus knew that He was to die the next day, and knowing that the Father had given everything into His hands and that He was come from God and going to God:

He riseth from supper, and laid aside His garments; and took a towel, and girded Himself After that He poured water into a bason and began to wash the disciples' feet, and to wipe them with the towel wherewith He was girded [John 13:1-5].

At least some of the disciples were utterly shocked by what Jesus was doing. They thought of Him in terms of being their Lord and Master, not their servant. Peter even attempted to protest, but Jesus explained:

Know ye what I have done to you? You call me Master and Lord: and ye say well; for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another's feet. For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you. Verily, verily, I say unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord; neither he that is sent greater than he that sent him. If you know these things, happy are you if you do them [John 13:12-17].

If we are to conclude that the woman is to submit herself to her husband as unto the Lord, then we must also conclude that the husband must be prepared to "wash his wife's feet." After all, the servant is not greater than his Lord.

Unfortunately, we, like the disciples, may have a distorted idea of what Christian leadership is supposed to be. The mother of two of Jesus' disciples came to Him asking that her two sons might sit, one on His right hand and the other on His left, in the Kingdom of God. She was asking for what she perceived to be the most powerful positions at that time. Jesus called everyone together in order to immediately straighten out their attitude in this matter. He explained:

Ye know that the princes of the Gentiles exercise dominion over them, and they that are great exercise authority upon them. But it shall not be so among you: but whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister; And whosoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant; Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give His life a ransom for many [Matthew 20:25-28].

So when Jesus spoke of man being the head of the wife, He was not speaking in the Gentile terms of "dominance-submission," but in His own terms of leadership through service.

Returning to Ephesians 5, we do not find the apostle Paul advocating a male-dominated marriage of the Gentile sort. Rather he is describing the ideal Christian marriage with both husband and wife fulfilling their roles. No man can demand that his wife be "subject to him in everything" unless he is prepared to submit his own desires and needs to the welfare of his family.

Remember this is a description of a relationship and the description includes: "Husbands, love your wives even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it."

No matter how willing or desirous one party in a marriage may be, it would be utterly impossible for one side of this equation to exist alone. It is impossible for a wife to perfectly submit herself to a husband "as unto the Lord" when her husband is not loving her as Christ loved the church. A married couple may strive for and eventually grow into a semblance of this relationship, but neither has the right to demand it over the other when they have not even begun to fulfill their own responsibility.

Paul goes on to exhort, "So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man yet ever hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church ... This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she respect her husband" (verses 28-33).

The whole passage is a description of a beautiful relationship - an ideal relationship which few couples have ever attained. But in a glimpse of what we wish our marriages to be, we can see the relationship that Christ wishes between Himself and the church.

In any kind of human group relationships, in marriage or out of marriage, patterns of leadership will develop. It is, of course, obvious that Paul supports the concept of male leadership in marriage, but it is a leadership among equals with differing responsibilities.

There is no conflict with this teaching in the book of Genesis. The pattern is set forth there as well. Indeed, the pattern of male leadership is set forth in the design of a man and woman. What Paul is doing is emphasizing the need for mutual submission in marriage and in the church.

Even in the context of society, Paul's admonition for husbands to "love your wives even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it," must have been astonishing to his readers. Husbands were exhorted to "love their wives as their own bodies" (verse 28). The leadership in the family of a man who submits himself to loving his wife and his children as Christ loved the church, who loves his family like his own body, should pose no problem of mutual submission on the part of his wife.

I Peter 3:7

Peter approaches the subject from a slightly different perspective. He is concerned about the woman who has an unconverted husband:

Likewise ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they may also without the word be won by the conduct of the wives [I Peter 3:11.

Even though the husband is unconverted, the pattern of leadership in the home need not be disrupted.

Peter goes on to present the same argument Paul did regarding outward adornment: "Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel" (I Peter 3:3). Bear in mind that Peter is not advocating straight hair and nudity. Like Paul, he is contrasting the adornment of the heart - the development of character - with the undue attention some give to outward adorning. He goes on to say, "But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price" (verse 4).

All this probably sounds great to a man who is inclined to lord it over his family, but the exhortation does not stop there. Peter continues to espouse the same principle of mutual submission that Paul advanced:

Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered [verse 7].

What does Peter mean when he says that the woman is the "weaker vessel"? There is no indication in either the Bible or our own experience to lead us to believe that the woman is weaker in moral character. And it would be folly to conclude that the woman is weaker in regard to physical or mental courage. How, then?

The context would lead us to believe that he is talking about physical weakness - for we know that men are, by and larger, stronger than women.

Peter's choice of words should make it clear what he is talking about. The word "honor" is derived from a Greek word which means respect, value, consideration. We do not respect people for being morally weak. Peter is telling us that a man should use his head - he should dwell with his wife according to knowledge - and should be considerate of any weaknesses his wife might experience. He should respect her, and he should help her.

Peter is simply acknowledging something that we all know. Women are not as large, as strong, or as fast as men. Consequently, we are to respect our wives and take care of them. It's done in simple ways. We don't leave our wives to grapple with a heavy door of a car and a baby at the same time. We open it for her. If it is going to be awkward for her to seat herself at a table, we hold her chair for her. For generations, men have risen when a woman entered a room - a gesture of respect to "the weaker sex."

But Peter gives not one but two reasons why we should respect our wives. The Greek says that a man should give honor unto the female, (1) as unto the weaker vessel and (2) as being joint heirs of the grace of life.

What does Peter mean by the expression "heirs together" or "joint hers"? The word in the Greek means simply "a fellow heir, a joint heir, one who obtains something assigned to himself with others." In what sense is woman a joint heir with man?

Some have suggested this is meant in the sense of dependency. In other words, the wife's inheritance of the grace of life was in some way dependent upon the actions of her husband, her submission to him, etc. Some have even gone so far as to say that a man might not make it into the Kingdom of God if his wife doesn't (and vice versa). Others have thought that perhaps their wives could act as their "assistants" for all eternity - thereby keeping their wives "under" them throughout the ages.

Interestingly enough, we have already seen Jesus' answer about this question. We aren't left in any doubt at all. When the Sadducees asked Him about the woman who had been married to seven successive brothers, they wanted to know whose wife she would be in the resurrection. Jesus made it clear that they are all - men and women - the children of God.

It would appear, then, that what Peter is saying is that men and women are "joint heirs" not in a sense of dependency, but in the sense of being heirs of the same thing. It would more accurately be translated into English "and as being heirs equally of the grace of life."

This meaning is borne out when we look at other places in the New Testament where the same expression is used. In the New Testament it is used only in Romans 8:17, Ephesians 3:6, Hebrews 11:9 and I Peter 3:7. Of special interest is Ephesians 3:6, where a subtle play on words in Greek is lost in the English translation. In this chapter Paul speaks of the mystery of Christ which is, paraphrased, "that the Gentiles should be joint heirs and a joint body and joint partakers of his promise in Christ through the gospel." The point in this verse is not that the Gentiles' salvation is somehow dependent upon that of Israel (joint heirs), but that they are heirs equally with Israel - that they in no way have an inferior inheritance.

Now let's reconsider I Peter 3:7, rearranging the words slightly from the Englishman's Greek New Testament: "Husbands likewise dwell with the female according to knowledge rendering them respect as with a weaker vessel and as heirs equally of the grace of life, so that your prayers not be cut off"

What Peter is saying in the simplest possible terms is that the failure to respect our females as weaker vessels and as heirs equally of the Kingdom of God can interfere with our own relationship with God!

Why?

Because Jesus Christ intended that the marriage relationship represent His own relationship with the church. Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it. Christ does not "put down" the church or treat the church as an inferior entity. A "Christian" man who mistreats his wife, "puts her down," treats her as an heir of an inferior salvation, is making a mockery of Christ's relationship with the church. Why should God hear his prayers?

The Head of the Family

In his first letter to the Corinthians Paul states, "But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God."

There can be no doubt that Paul teaches male leadership in marriage, but it should be noticed that the man is also under the leadership of Christ. And we have elsewhere pointed out what kind of leadership that is.

There follows in this chapter one of the more curious passages in Paul's writings. There is very little agreement among biblical commentators as to exactly what Paul means by this lengthy discussion of hair and head coverings.

Of particular interest is the passage beginning in verse 14: "Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame to him? But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given to her for a covering." It's not immediately clear what Paul means by "nature itself." Indeed, if we look at the physical creation, we might conclude exactly the opposite! The lion, for example, has a huge mane of hair, while the lioness does not. The lesson from the animal kingdom is ambivalent.

What, then, could Paul mean by the expression "nature itself"? He must be referring to the fact that in human societies in general women wear their hair long and men wear their hair short. If so, then he is referring to the nature of things sociologically rather than biologically. Notice the appeal to the judgment of the readers in verse 13: "Judge in yourselves: Is it comely that a woman pray unto God uncovered?" Apparently Paul was talking about human attitudes. He is saying that human beings consider it a shame for a man to have long hair and a glory for a woman to have long hair. For indeed it can be no shame before God for a man to have long hair, because of the way God accepted the Nazarite (Numbers 6). For the Nazarite, long hair was a sign of subjection and humility, but it was no disgrace.

Some commentators suggest that Paul was dealing with the confusion of the sexes in outward appearances. Some say that he is breaking with Jewish tradition which called for a man to cover his head when praying. Others point out the Greek custom of the worshipers of Aphrodisia, who shaved their heads annually in mourning for the death of Adonis.

And no one seems to agree on what Paul meant when he said, "For this cause ought the woman to have power on her head because of the angels" (verse 10).

Since Paul makes no appeal to the law in this passage, we can only conclude that he is dealing with tradition and custom. The 20th century church may certainly draw inferences regarding a differentiation of sexual roles, but any attempt to turn this into a church doctrine is doomed to failure from the start. Paul had to know when he said, "If a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her," that someone would ask the question, "How long is long?" Paul's comments here are not intended to establish a doctrine for the church to enforce, but to urge that proper appearance be maintained in the worship of God in their culture in their time.

Mutual Responsibility

Neither Peter nor Paul is advocating a Gentile-fashion, male-dominated marriage. They are advocating mutual submission with the man of the house in the position of leadership, respecting his wife as she respects him.

But why should the man be in a position of leadership rather than the woman? The answer no doubt is not simple, but it is easy to see how a struggle for leadership would be damaging to the family. Rather than allow such a thing to take place, God simply ordained that the stronger of two otherwise equal persons should lead. He then tells us that the relationship is to be a relationship of mutual submission with each bearing an enormous responsibility for the other.

Nature itself tells us that leadership patterns will emerge any time human beings are thrown together. Whether there be two people, three people or more, it is always the same. If there is any degree of social interaction, one personality will tend to dominate. Since the design of human beings ordained that man should be stronger, the pattern of male leadership existed from the start. When sin entered the picture, it became a pattern of male domination. The strong bear rule, and when there is no moderating influence the results can be terrifying.

With Jesus Christ, sin leaves the picture and a whole new pattern of leadership emerges in the Christian family.

Woman and the Church

A better understanding of God's pattern of leadership for the family may help us better understand His pattern for the church. Paul makes it clear that the relationship between a man and his wife is intended to serve as an analogy of Christ's relationship with the church (Ephesians 5:32).

Furthermore, Jesus came to reveal the Most High God to us as our Father, once again using the family relationship to teach us more about God (Matthew 6:9).

It's not difficult to see how a power struggle or a reversal of roles in the family could leave children not only confused about the family, but confused about God as well. For Paul sees man in the family as the image of God (I Corinthians 11:7).

When we then consider the influence of the preacher in the church and on the family, and we remember what a powerful role model he can become, perhaps we can begin to see why Jesus and Paul placed man in this role while granting an effective personal ministry to women like Phebe, Priscilla, Euodias and Syntyche.

But are women somehow diminished because they are not called to preach? It is an important question, and, believe it or not, a serious question to some men as well. Because of the respect in which the preaching ministry is regarded, even some men have lacked self-respect because they have not been able to attain to the ministry.

But Paul makes it very clear that not everyone in the church is given all of the gifts of the Spirit. He points out that "there are diversities of gifts, but the same spirit" (I Corinthians 12:4).

For to one is given by the Spirit the word of wisdom; to another the word of knowledge by the same Spirit; to another faith by the same Spirit; to another the gifts of healing by the same Spirit; to another the working of miracles; to another prophecy, to another discerning of spirits; to another diverse kinds of tongues; to another the interpretation of tongues: But all these worketh that one and selfsame Spirit, dividing to every man severally as he will. For as the body is one, and hath many members, and all the members of that one body, being many, are one body: so also is Christ [I Corinthians 12:8-12].

Simply because a man or woman is not called to preach does not mean they are somehow less in God's eyes. There are many other gifts that are vital to the church - faith, healing, prophecy, discernment and especially the greatest gift of all, love. Paul points out that not everyone can be an apostle. All are not prophets. Not everyone can be a teacher, speak in tongues, or have the gift of healings (verses 29, 30). He then proceeds with the beautiful 13th chapter to tell us about the greatest gift of all - the gift of love - the one gift available to all.

To whatever extent we believe that a member of Christ's church is diminished because he or she is not a preacher or a minister, we reveal the extent of our own ignorance of the true purpose and calling of the ministry.

But why, women ask, have we so often been squelched, blocked, or put down when we have tried to be of service in the church?

One of the great tragedies of the 2,000 year history of the church is that churchmen have not always been driven by the noblest of motives. The power and prestige of the ministry can become idols to be jealously guarded. To such a person, anyone, man or woman, who gets too good, too fast, becomes a threat, and that threat must be dealt with.

The attitude of John the Baptist stands in stark contrast. When John's disciples expressed concern about Jesus' success, he replied:

A man can receive nothing, except it be given him from heaven. You yourselves bear me witness, that I said, I am not the Christ, but that I am sent before Him. He that hath the bride is the bridegroom: But the friend of the bridegroom, which standeth and heareth him, rejoiceth greatly because of the bridegroom's voice: this my joy therefore is fulfilled. He must increase, but I must decrease [John 3:25-30].

Some women have made the mistake of assuming that they were being put down simply because they were women. In fact, they may have been put down because they posed a threat (real or imagined) and the excuse for putting them down was that they were women. When the threat is a man, he must be dealt with in other ways. Motives must be impugned, character questioned, human foibles carefully scrutinized. In a way, it's a blessing to be a woman in such circumstances. No careful examination is required - she can be dismissed by petty egotists simply because she is a woman.

It takes no great insight to realize that the underlying motive behind all this is simple fear. Some men have feared the loss of power and prestige. Others have inveighed against women wearing makeup, short skirts and tight sweaters, not so much out of a sense of morality as out of a fear of the darker side of their own desires.

But fear is not of God: "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, of love, and of a sound mind" (II Timothy 1:7).

Why should the church fear the involvement of dedicated women? Surely we all realize that there is more work to be done than all of us together can ever accomplish? Why, then, intimidate and discourage half the church?

Dedicated Christian women who have a desire to serve their God can become a powerful force for good in any church. No church can be blessed that puts down, humiliates and denigrates women. Women are made in the image of God, specially gifted to reveal the compassion and mercy of God, and specially gifted to serve people in a very personal way. To the Christian woman come special gifts of the Spirit of God. It is enough for her to identify those gifts and use them in serving God. May God give grace to Christian men to rejoice in the service and gifts of Christian women and honor these women as heirs equally of the grace of life.

Go to Part 1: Creation and women

Dedicated to the memory of Loma D. Armstrong
1891 - 1967

By Ronald L. Dart, 1982

LETTING GO

2010-05-13T17:05:00.000-07:00

To let go doesn't mean to STOP CARING;

... it means I can't DO IT for someone else.

To let go is not to CUT MYSELF OFF;

... it's the realization that I can't CONTROL another

To let go is not to ENABLE;

... but to allow learning from natural CONSEQUENCES.

To let go is to admit POWERLESSNESS, which means,

the OUTCOME is not in MY hands.

To let go is not to try to CHANGE or BLAME another,

... I can only change MYSELF.

To let go is not to CARE FOR ... but to care ABOUT.

To let go is not to FIX ... but to be SUPPORTIVE.

To let go is not to JUDGE,

... but to allow another to be a human being.

To let go is not to be in the MIDDLE, arranging all the outcomes,

... but to ALLOW other to EFFECT their own outcomes.

To let go is not to be PROTECTIVE;

... it is to permit another to face reality.

To let go is not to DENY ... but to ACCEPT.

To let go is not to NAG, scold or argue,

... but to search out MY OWN shortcomings and correct them.

To let go is not to ADJUST everything to my desires,

but to take each day as it comes ... and to cherish the moment.

To let go is not to CRITICIZE and REGULATE anyone,

... but to become the best I can be.

To let go is not to REGRET the past,

... but to GROW and live for the future.

To let go is to FEAR LESS,

TRUST in Christ more,

... and freely give the love He's given to me.

2010-05-12T05:02:00.000-07:00

Nothing on earth Can make life more worthwhile than the sunshine and warmth of a beautiful smile.
A wicked man shows a bold face.but as for the upright,he makes his way sure. Proverbs 21:29
Today soften your heart and your facial expression

2010-05-12T04:35:00.000-07:00

I just love this rainy weather! Of course I need my garden watered so that is one reason I love it lol! But the negative is the boys don't go outside much during this time of year.
I feel like no matter what God has taught me through trials or issues in my life soo many times I have to relearn them sigh... I am pleased He loves me enough to let me learn them again though! I am so thankful that God loves me and never gives up on me no mater my weekness nor my failings but He is an understanding God and helps and sees me through each time! He never puts me down,or tells me how I have failed,or what a bad person I am. He does show me me faults and failures but not to hurt me or shove it in my face. He does show me my faults out of love to allow me to repent and show me how to make change in my life. I am sooo thankful for my God! There is no one like Him! As long as He is in my life I don't have to fear people,situations,weather,lack,need etc. He is always right here by my side through it all! I would not be here on this earth without His love in my life. Life just isn't worth living without being a child of God and giving my life to Him!
I Just love to see how He works in my life and the life of my husband,children and family!
I will wait and see how God moves and has His way in these next two months! I know he will and look forward to seeing How he does it! Also how I will continue to be able to give fear and fear and fear lol to Him and not it rule how I live and breath and move in this life time.

On another note I am excited because Christian is done with Language and Grammer. He will be done with Math and Spelling hopefully by the end of the month. Yehhhh..... Josh is gonna be alittle longer doing his phonics but is loving the fact he can read his reader book! Yah! Kiah will so be ready for Kindergarten next year! He loves to find two words that start with the same letter and tell them to me and say,"They go together mom"! lol! And he loves to paper work! Christian is excited that next year he wont have grammer and language seperated in two different books lol but it all will be together. He is so funny! We will work on his writing during the summer though. He hates to write at all! I think we will do copy work I can find online and such. I am looking forward to the brake of school though and then to starting up again with three kids all doing homework together. I will be even more challenging though. I think we will do our work at the table together and make some rules about raising your hand when you need help so I am not getting questions all at the same time. That is mind blowing sometimes when all the boys are asking or needing something at the same time. Man! I will look for more tips online about this area!

I wish sometimes that we had visitors more often lol cause I keep my house in better order when I know there is company coming and I enjoy company but I also see that God uses the fact that we don't see alot of people often as a learning time in my life. I know he set us here at this time to teach,train and grow us in so many ways. I will be happy as I know we are where He wants us to be! Thank you God!

2010-05-04T18:52:00.000-07:00

I got alot done today. Feel very accomplished. Still lots to do though but when isn't there lots to do with four boys, a husband,dog and living in the country? Ha Ha! But I love it none the less!
I dug up about 6 feet in length and two feet in width of my garden. My friend used her tracter to dig up most of the garden but there was a good portion on the sides that she just could get to. But my neighbor came over to let Aaron use some tools to replace the the tub spout and then he saw me digging. He said He would try to come over tomorrow and till my garden for me. Wow! What a sweet grandpa like friend he is! He is eighty some years old but sure doesn't act it. Last year he was helping the neighbor put shingles on her roof. He and his wife are amazing and soo sweet!!!
They have a play gound that he built in there yard and said we can come over any time! And they mean it! So sweet!!!
Tammy you have inspired me to begin scrapbooking again! I haven't started yet but will soon! I can't wait! I haven't done it in like over two years! Sigh..... or mommy and wife stuff lol

Love Peace

2010-05-03T19:28:00.000-07:00

I truly love having the peace of God in my life! My life is so far from what people would say is a great life. I don't have money for eating out or shopping or just spending money. Not complaining I am acctually happy to see ways I can do things with out spending money on something I just want lol! Not to make anyone feel bad if they do! We get paid in a few days and have gotten really low on food. But I have sooo enjoyed finding ways to make food stretch and use things I normally kinda pass up and leave on the shelves. I acctually feel more blessed then when we did have money and eat out or went to movies, or went to thrift stores(which I Love!!!!). We are not in want even if our fridge or shelves look bare lol! I love it!
I have moments of fear or concern but once I pray I am fine and God always provides and shows me ways.
I have made some pasta dish's and was supprised at how well they turned out and how little it took to make them. And how my family enjoyed them! I have found out how to make pancakes without eggs and they are Good! I use a tablespoon of mayo as a substitue.
Each day has been like an adventoure. And another day to learn to lean on God and watch Him move in our lives! I am thankful for these experiences!
God is sooo Gooood!

2010-04-27T18:05:00.001-07:00

2010-04-26T12:43:00.001-07:00

I just found this and love it so had to post it! Amen Amen!
Paul Harvey says:

I don't believe in Santa Claus, but I'm not going to sue somebody for singing a Ho-Ho-Ho song in December. I don't agree with Darwin , but I didn't go out and hire a lawyer when my high school teacher taught his Theory of Evolution.

Life, liberty or your pursuit of happiness will not be endangered because someone says a 30-second prayer before a football game. So what's the big deal? It's not like somebody is up there reading the entire Book of Acts. They're just talking to a God they believe in and asking him to grant safety to the players on the field and the fans going home from the game.

But it's a Christian prayer, some will argue.

Yes, and this is the United States of America , a country founded on Christian principles. According to our very own phone book, Christian churches outnumber all others better than 200-to-1. So what would you expect -- somebody chanting Hare Krishna?

If I went to a football game in Jerusalem, I would expect to hear a Jewish prayer.

If I went to a soccer game in Baghdad, I would expect to hear a Muslim prayer.

If I went to a ping pong match in China, I would expect to hear someone pray to Buddha.

And I wouldn't be offended. It wouldn't bother me one bit. When in Rome.

But what about the atheists? Is another argument.

What about them? Nobody is asking them to be baptized. We're not going to pass the collection plate. Just humor us for 30 seconds. If that's asking too much, bring a Walkman or a pair of ear plugs. Go to the bathroom. Visit the concession stand. Call your lawyer!

Unfortunately, one or two will make that call. One or two will tell thousands what they can and cannot do. I don't think a short prayer at a football game is going to shake the world's foundations.

Christians are just sick and tired of turning the other cheek while our courts strip us of all our rights. Our parents and grandparents taught us to pray before eating, to pray before we go to sleep. Our Bible tells us to pray without ceasing. Now a handful of people and their lawyers are telling us to cease praying.

God, help us. And if that last sentence offends you, well, just sue me.

The silent majority has been silent too long. It's time we tell that one or two who scream loud enough to be heard that the vast majority doesn't care what they want. It is time that the majority Rules! It's time we tell them, You don't have to pray; you don't have to say the Pledge of Allegiance; you don't have to believe in God or attend services that honor Him. That is your right, and we will honor your right; but by golly, you are no longer going to take our rights away. We are fighting back, and we WILL WIN!

God bless us one and all ... Especially those who denounce Him , God bless America, despite all her faults. She is still the greatest nation of all. God bless our service men who are fighting to protect our right to pray and worship God.

Let's make 2009 the year the silent majority is heard and we put God back as the foundation of our families and institutions... And our military forces come home from all the wars.

Keep looking up.

If you agree with this, please pass it on.
'AND THAT'S THE REST OF THE STORY'

Don't Quit

2010-04-26T12:32:00.000-07:00

by: Unknown Author

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh.
When care is pressing you down a bit.
Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns
As every one of us sometimes learns.
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out:
Don't give up though the pace seems slow -
You may succeed with another blow.
Success is failure turned inside out -
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt.
And you never can tell how close you are.
It may be near when it seems so far:
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

2010-04-26T05:31:00.000-07:00

2010-04-26T00:24:00.000-07:00

Me Making Do: Can Craft Organizer

2010-04-26T00:23:00.000-07:00

Me Making Do: Can Craft Organizer

2010-04-22T09:02:00.001-07:00

So yesturday we had a very good day and I took the boys to Mcdonalds for lunch. There were three other boys there about Joshs age. I didn't think much of it till Kiah came running out screeming bloody murder. One of the boys had punched him in the eye. I found Josh who had the boy pinned up against the play thing holding his wrists lol. As I came up I told Josh he could let go now and he said,"It so he wont hit anymore". What a great brother! The mother came up and spoke to her son asking if he was playing nice. Josh had sat down and looked at her calmly said,"No I don't think he is he is hitting". The mother barely looked at Josh and told her son to play nice and left. Grrr.... The boy then latter puched Christian in the nose twice. I decided it was past time to go. I don't understand mothers. I mean man the boy should have been in time out or spanked the first time he hit Kiah. I for some reason didn't just approch the mother and tell her her son was hitting and she needed to do something about it. Guess I still am not as I need to be. Why I didn't do it I have no idea. So as I had the boys getting ready I had yet to get Ethan. I heard him getting upset and called his name knowing he is agressive and will hit in defense or anger and would only make the boys mad and hit him. Well I didn't get to him fast enough and one of the boys did hit him. I picked him up and looked at the boys and said in no unsertain terms they needed to stop hitting. Their moms called them by that time and said it was time for them to leave. That boys mom did have her son come and appologize but then laughed as if it is just boys. Grrrr....
Aaron said he was taught if a kid hits you to hit back. Hmmm... That is a hard one for me since I don't see that scripturally. I mean it makes since and all. Just man I don't know.
I don't understand why parents don't take it really serious and see that those kinds of actions need to be dealt with quick and every time. If we don't teach our children when they are young then you wont be able to when they are teenagers beating up other kids. Agression needs dealt with and explained and given alternatives.
Maybe their conversation was more important.
Moms wake up and see how very important it is to TEACH our sons when they are young and not just push it off as "it is just boys" or "Thats how it is with boys".....
Wake up !!!!

2010-04-19T05:22:00.000-07:00

Still wore out from Saturday! Well and Sunday lol! I got the dish's done and some more laundry switched and made a really yummy Sheppards Pie! No tomatoes in this one and wow yummy! I'll give you the recipe if you want. I did change it just a tad lol!
Ethan gave me a rough night and I just want to go to bed. Not gonna happen but wish it could. I might take a nap on the couch while the kids play. Maybe after we go on a morning walk with my friend and neighbor!

2010-04-19T05:21:00.001-07:00

There are no perfect mothers, but you are God's perfect choice to raise the children He gave you.
A friend on facebook posted this. A much needed reminder for all of us moms!
I needed it!

2010-04-17T19:00:00.000-07:00

I am utterly exhausted! The family went to town this morning. Went to the library,got a mower part,finished grocery shopping,came home and the boys and Aaron started picking up sticks in the yard while I got lunch and Ethan slept in the car. Put grocerys up,called neighbor to see if they'd check the mower cause it wouldn't start,started seperating cloths,then the neighbor came and got the mower fixed so I then mowed the church yard,then fixed supper. Then as the boys played the game cube I started organizing their room from top to bottom. It needed it bad. Vaccumed upstairs,got or bed made,switched load of laundry,got Ethan calmly in bed and now am sitting here while Aaron folds laundry and two boys take a bath. I even got the boys cloths for church picked out. Not ironed though. Ect...Ect..
Aaron took a test for a job,changed the oil in the ridding mower, folded cloths,spent time with the boys, burnt carpet and yard stuff, helped jump the mower when the neighbor came, washed Ethan up and got him out of the tub,Helped grocery shop,and prayed with the boys at bed time and Let me know it was time to stop working or I was gonna be a wreck tomorrow. Totally right he is! So much for mopping the floors and washing dish's. Oh well I can do it tomorrow lol!
Aaron would have mowed but I said I'd do it lol. I do enjoy it and the yard looks great!
It is funny how you can do so much and the house still looks as though you haven't done a thing Hmmmm.........
I don't think I will be doing near so much tomorrow. Rest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am ready for a shower and cuddling with my hubby! Life is good!!!!
Aaron says I'm too hard on myself. I think he is right! I try tooo hard to get stuff done on weekends since I do school in the mornings during the week and then after nap it is catch up with house work and spend time with kids. Sometimes more house work then anything. It takes a lot of consistant cleaning to keep this place decently in order and cloths kept clean.And I am always thinking of what I didn't get done. And lol I am not really that good at being consistant I don't think. But there I go being hard on myself again :)
Maybe there is hot water now and I can go take a shower. But then I would have to get up lol!
I asked Aaron if he'd carry me to the shower and got a blank look lol it was funny! First time I've asked that Lol! Gave me a good laugh!
The house is soo quiet! Peaceful sighhh sounds good after a long day!

My Beloved

2010-04-15T11:34:00.000-07:00

These words to my beloved
Are plain for all to see,
But hold some hidden secrets
Known by you and me.

Now we are together,
Arranged by God alone;
Our needs were for each other,
Our Father made us one.

You are a happy person,
And make myhoys complete;
Your joy,your song and smiling face,
Make all my needs replete.

Some day we'll know and understand
The ways of God for man;
And live within His glory,
As His own children can.

We're now His earthly children,
Directed every step;
And live by faith in everything,
And know that we are kept.

My Dear, I open wide my heart
To welcome you inside;
And share our wealth of love andlife,
And in our Lord abide.

My love for you increases
With all these passing days;
I long to make our lives compelet
In Christ, whos name we praise.

As husband-wife we share our joysied ones.
Reserved for married ones.
The blessed union of the two-
The bride and His dear Son.

Ten Years

2010-04-14T11:20:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is my 10th Wedding Anniversary. YEHHHHH!!!! Ten years wow! I have to say it hasn't been easy but I LOVE and Adore my Husband!!!!! It doesn't feel like it has been ten years. I am sooo thankful!!!! I just keep falling more in love with him!!! The trials have not been easy nor would I want to go through them again but I am blessed that they have drawn us closer and taught us both many things. Things we needed to learn. I have learned about becoming truly selfless. Not an easy lesson! One I continue to learn unfortunatly! I realize that closeness with my husband is needed,desired and vital for a marriage there is a closeness though that puts husbands above God and that hurts a marriage not helps it. I am learning to recognize quicker and quicker when I am begin to lean more on my husband then God and acctually become more needy because of it! Time to spend time with God!

Anniversary
A thought a word
May start a commotion
That stirs up remembrance
To a past deed or notion

The memory leads one
Back through the years,
Reminds themof blessings,
Of joys nd of tears.

Some happy moment
May alter ones life.
The coming to manhood,
And taking a wife.

This special occasion
That brought two in union
Is celebrated each year
In lovely communion.

Two hearts now hoined
In perfect agreement;
Nothing between them
But love and contentment.

Easter

2010-04-12T12:34:00.000-07:00

So we did things totally different this year. We didn't go to any easter egg hunts in town. Nor did we go to Easter service even though that was the plan lol! I didn't buy any candy for there baskets or toys.
So for there baskets I made two different cookies and tried a candy that didn't work. I made out of felt a large cross's and grandma braught some stuffed animals. I was very happy to see the boys loved it totally. No complaints at all. I was supprised that the cross's were such a hit. They loved them! They sleep with them and carry them around. Kiah likes to say how it isn't fair that they nailed Jesus on the cross and is happy Jesus rose from the dead. :) Christian doesn't like to sleep without his cross. Adorable they are!
Grandma,daddy and I collored eggs with the boys the day before Easter and it went very well.
We had our own easter egg hunt. I had a little left over smartys and put in some eggs. Then I had made my own Resurrection eggs and had them mixed in.And the week prior to Easter the boys had told me what they were thankful for and I put on little pieces of paper and they were in the eggs.We also used the eggs they collored. But most of the eggs were empty and they totally didn't care and just loved the hunt.
We then went through the eggs and found the Resurrection eggs and they opened them while I read what each one ment. It was fun. Then latter that evening we read what the kids were thankful for.
We had a really good Easter dinner and then later that night made Resurrection roles. They loved those as well. Yummy!

2010-04-11T20:30:00.000-07:00

I have always loved poetry. Not much of a righter of it just enjoy reading it. So I thought I'd put some on here.

My Standing with God
Abraham was a friend of God-
Moses God's law giver;
David was God's chosen king-
Enoch lives forever.

Through the ages of mankind
God has chosen few
To manifest His holy plans,
And do what He would do.

Every hero of the faith
Heard God speak to him;
What they did is what they heard,
And God blessed eacho of them.

All who live in this our day
Have a choice to make-
Hear God's vioce-do what He says,
Or refuse Him and forsake.

I desire to know the Lord-
Recieve His word for me;
Believe He is,and I am His,
And evermore shall be.

Where do I now stand with my God?
I stand upon His word
Believe and know that I am His
And do what I have heard

2010-04-11T13:28:00.000-07:00

Church was wonderful today!!! It is soo refreshing and awesome to see God move in a church that law is not an issue,they don't look at you funny if you don't come every Sunday or ask where you were,they adore Jesus and seeking to become closer to Him is their focus! God has really been moving and it is exciting! The boys were Great and behaved sooo well!
Now I am working on cleaning a very messy house lol! Excited for my husbands return from drill tonight!!!

2010-04-10T20:18:00.000-07:00

Grandma they love her visits!

2010-04-10T20:12:00.001-07:00

I am always soo happy when I see them treating eachother with such love! Staying home and homeschooling has such an affect on children and siblings I believe! My boys are far from perfect but such good boys!!!

My long but good day

2010-04-10T20:02:00.000-07:00

So today I mowed the church yard with the push mower. I thought it would be hard but even though it took awhile the wind was nice and cool and some I could do in the shade.The boys helped by picking sticks up out of the church yard and helping watch Ethan. They are such good boys! Then I played some baseball with my little guys,rested,vaccumed upstairs,put cloths up upstairs,reheated food for dinner,rested lol then went and cleaned the church. That went well as well. It was actually pretty clean. The little boys stayed inside with me. Kiah and Ethan helped clean by spraying counters and cabinet doors and wipping them. Then they all sat down and drew and cut out their drawings. I even got Ethan and Kiah playing the piano,singing and turning the hymn pages. Loved that! Then off to home for much needed baths! Still working on the bath part.At least I got one in bed and asleep.But it is nice and peaceful. I think I might be burnt. We shall see in the morning.

Family

2010-04-10T16:30:00.000-07:00

I love my family!!! My mother,sisters,brother,inlaws,sons and husband. I am learning to not assume I understand or know them and there thoughts and why they do or don't do things. It is very freeing to not assume because if anyone is like me I tend to assume the bad before the good. God's working on that in me lol with my husbands help lol! I know God is working in each of my family members. I am at peace knowing that! Even with my boys I have found when I turly believe I know and understand whats going on with them when I talk to them and ask I am usually proven wrong. I actually like that because it reminds me to Not Assume! lol! My children are wonderful teachers! Assuming really is a horrible thing you know.
The Bible says to seek and you will find,knock and the door will be opened. Of course that is talking of what we are to do with Christ but my point is it says to seek and knock. There isn't a place in the Bible that says anything like assume about God. If that is the case with Christ and we are to be like Christ then we should do the same with people.
Don't assume!!! Ask!!!! I will be saying this often!

2010-04-10T10:49:00.000-07:00

This is Josh in the Christmas play of 2009. He is sooo cute lol!

Assume

2010-04-10T07:02:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking allot of how people assume about other people. I looked up the meaning and found it interesting.

As·sume /əˈsum/ Show Spelled [uh-soom] Show IPA verb,-sumed, -sum·ing.
–verb (used with object)
1.to take for granted or without proof; suppose; postulate; posit: to assume that everyone wants peace.
2.to take upon oneself; undertake: to assume an obligation.
3.to take over the duties or responsibilities of: to assume the office of treasurer.
4.to take on (a particular character, quality, mode of life, etc.); adopt: He assumed the style of an aggressive go-getter.
5.to take on; be invested or endowed with: The situation assumed a threatening character.
6.to pretend to have or be; feign: to assume a humble manner.
7.to appropriate or arrogate; seize; usurp: to assume a right to oneself; to assume control.
8.to take upon oneself (the debts or obligations of another).
9.Archaic. to take into relation or association; adopt.
–verb (used without object)
10.to take something for granted; presume.

How often do we all assume things about others but don't ask? I have learned that that is the worst thing to do in a relationship. Ask Ask Ask don't assume!!!

Here are some sites Ive come across and really like

2010-04-08T20:45:00.000-07:00

http://www.homeeducator.com/FamilyTimes/articles/11-4article8.htm

http://www.abc.net.au/science/surfingscientist/fruity.paper.critter.htm

http://www.howtoteachscience.com/freestuff/labs_demonstrations_and_activites.html

http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/ShiverAcademy/Book%2Bof%2BVirtues/

http://www.worksheetlibrary.com/gradelevel/

http://www.relaxedhomeschooling.com/through-the-years/blog/

http://www.successful-homeschooling.com/relaxed-homeschooling.html

2010-04-08T19:49:00.000-07:00

God has a way of testing us. Even though I do not enjoy being tested I am pleased that God loves me enough to test me and help me to become stronger from each test and one day I will pass the test with flying colors and will not have that test any more but a new one. I have do not as of yet pass each test. But I do see that I am realizing each time a little faster and to respond a little quicker correctly each time. For that I am grateful!!
God also has a way of helping us out of our comfort zone or box. I think this is a continual lesson for me lol!
I am becoming more confident in myself as a person and a Daughter of God! And as this is happening I see myself becoming less fearful of what people think of me or what I do. Gods opinion is the only one that matters and I seek It often and know how He feels towards me. Now I am learning to accept how He feels toward me and by doing that it will change how I treat others and respond to them.

Blessings of Forgiveness

2010-04-07T12:20:00.000-07:00

I love this radio station! They have such awesome programs

2010-04-07T11:54:00.000-07:00

So today is such a busy day for me!! I had to have Christian and Josh ready to go to the neighbors by 7:30am with dress cloths incase they went with her to a funeral. Then take Aaron to work. Take Kiah and Ethan to a friends house. Get gas and head out to Newton for what ended up being lots of blood work. Then come back get the Kiah and Ethan. Pick up Aaron some lunch and take it to him. Pick up the Christian and Josh. I then will be taking the three older boys to a educational class for an hour. Then pick them up,pick up a friends daughter who is going to KIDMO with us,pick Aaron up and then drop him off lol then head to church. Then after that get Aaron and some food we need and home! Sigh...
This is not a typical day goodness but just soooo glad God has given me the strength to make it though it and my boys all had a great time with their friends. God is good!

I look forward to a normal day at home tomarrow though....Sigh... :)
I will find out about my Blood work by about Friday. I hope it tells something so I can get to feeling better. I want to feel normal again!!!

2010-04-01T14:15:00.000-07:00

Tooth Enamel Regeneration
October 1, 2007 I have decided to write about my children’s teeth after reading this article by The Nourisher.

Yesterday I filled out a permission form and a questionnaire from a NSW university who want to come test our youngest’s class for tooth decay to gather fluoride, diet and tooth decay statistics. We had a lot of fun, my eldest (12) and I, answering the questions on the form. Questions like, how many cups of juice, soft drink, cordial does your child eat each day, to which I answered ZERO. How many sweets? ZERO. Fruit? ZERO, sweetened yogurt? ZERO. How many cups of milk per day? EIGHT! Ha Ha, so fun – 2 1/2 times what is ‘recommended’. How many serves of meat, FOUR to SIX…….

We turned the page to see a set of pictures depicting different sized tooth brushes. The question was ‘which size does your child use?’ My answer was NONE. We read the next question, “At what age did you child begin brushing his teeth?” NEVER. Are you shocked yet? A few more questions about how much tooth paste we use and when did our child first see a dentist, to which our answer was, you guessed it, NEVER.

Joanne follows Weston A. Price; He studied at length the diets of many isolated cultures around the world in the 1930’s and found that they had no dental decay – at all. This picture is of farm girls, (who have had their teeth cleaned by Price) who lived in a cut-off valley in Switzerland. They lived off milk products, fermented rye breads, broths and meats supplemented with some vegetables in summer (photo from Nutrition and Physical Degeneration). They had perfect teeth. No dentist (or doctor) existed in their community at that time. Things only changed when roads were built into their valley sometime after Price’s visit, commercial bakeries and dairies appeared. The dentists followed soon afterward.

Another relevant book is: “Man Versus Toothache” by George W. Heard (1952). Heard cites over and over again cases of farming men and women coming to his dental practice in the 1950’s with filthy, encrusted teeth, who had never, ever used a toothbrush. These teeth had taken all day to clean up, yet underneath the grime had revealed perfect, healthy, disease-free teeth.

Other people came to him for help as, even though they followed a strict regime of thrice-daily brushing, they showed rampant signs of tooth decay and had one or more fillings on every single tooth in their mouths. The difference in the two parties was that the first group had, all their lives, eaten some meat, unrefined (and usually fermented) wholegrain products, small amounts of sugar, drank raw milk every day, used other raw dairy products and grew their own fruit and vegetables. The second group had grown up eating pastries and bread from white flour, refined sugar, pasteurized milk and other denatured food of commerce and a small amount of tinned fruit and vegetables, even though they brushed their teeth religiously.

Price’s protocol for clients he saw with teeth ravaged from modern convenience foods? To put them on a diet which included copious amounts of butter fat and cod liver oil, whilst cutting out completely sugar and processed flour products (which inhibit vitamin and mineral absorption in the body). See Rami Nagel’s site for more info on this topic.

Dentists, it seems, concentrate on telling you to avoid the sugar and brush correctly in their half-hour scheduled slot with their patients, but believe it or not, improper brushing may not be the major cause of tooth decay. A diet lacking in minerals could be more to blame. Sugar does not just eat the teeth from the outside, but also depletes the body of these minerals from the inside – weakening the whole structure of the tooth. It is even worse to think that our children can ‘get away’ with eating sugar, so long as they brush their teeth before bed.

I found all this out about 18 months ago and since then, I have done my utmost to make sure my children have the best ‘tooth (and bone) protection diet’ I can give them. And they know about it. I reckon they are pretty savvy when it comes to unorthodox dental health – I mean, from the inside out that is. In addition to this, my teeth in the past have not been great, I had all my metal fillings removed slowly but surely, but still had issues with weak enamel and sensitivity.

So, in addition to good food I have also:

Removed fluoride from our water and toothpaste products. For more details on how exactly to do this click here.

Started brushing my teeth with a regular bar of soap (no artificial additives) and clay instead of toothpaste:
“Teeth re-mineralize when clean. TO MAKE TEETH CLEAN ONE BRUSHES WITH ANY BAR SOAP. (There are good toothpastes at the health food stores. Check the ingredients before buying. Don’t get anything with glycerine in it.) Soap washes off in just 2 rinses.” Dental Health by Gerard F. Judd, Ph.D. ( Check out this tooth soap and this other one.)

Started rinsing with Celtic Sea Salt dissolved in water: This will deliver essential minerals to the teeth, alkalize the mouth and flush bacteria away from cavities that have already formed (it is important to keep injured teeth clean; as although bacteria cannot attack enamel, it can attack dentine/pulp, see this).

Of course, the girls hate brushing with soap (!) and rinsing with salt, so I stopped giving them toothpaste which contains glycerin (most of the time they forget to brush anyway): “Glycerine in all toothpastes is so sticky that it takes 27 washes to get it off. Teeth brushed with any toothpaste are coated with a film and cannot properly re-mineralize.” Dental Health by Gerard F. Judd, Ph.D.

(Miessence glycerin-free toothpaste is the ONLY glycerin/fluoride free product I have found.)

Started eating a diet rich in essential minerals: We now consume raw dairy products, (milk, butter, cheese, whey) which have the full compliment of minerals, vitamins and enzymes. We eat mineral rich bone broths and have starting eating liver once a week. Yes, the vegetables are still in our home, but we never discard the mineral rich water used for steaming them, instead saving it for soups and sauces. Our table salt is now Celtic Sea Salt. Our (limited) sugar is now Rapadura. I cook with goose fat instead of olive oil.

Started taking pure cod liver oil. Not fish oil – cod liver oil. I found the best quality I could and take the dosages recommended on westonaprice.org. I hide it in banana smoothies for the girls.

The hardest thing for me has been to overcome the fear that I may be damaging my children’s (and my) teeth even more by following this regime. It feels kind of scary to go against the grain, but I have faith in smiles that had never seen a dentist, never had fluoride/glycerine added to their toothpastes (or water) and indeed, never seen toothpaste or a toothbrush.

One thing I have done is discussed this all with my dentist. He knows about Price. He told me that the man’s findings should be on the curriculum in dental schools, but unfortunately, it is not. Furthermore, his patients come to him to sort their teeth out – fill, straighten, replace and whiten them with minimal fuss – there is no reason to spread the word about Price’s findings because the general consensus nowadays is that if you eat sugar, you brush your teeth and visit the dentist regularly you’ll be OK. But my dentist knows better, it is not OK and its getting worse; most food on the market today does not support strong teeth or bones and brushing possibly does more harm than good, as it gives people a false sense of security.

My dentist is a man that does what he can under the circumstances, so that’s what he does.

However, he was full of hope for my children, who at 6 and 3, like The Nourisher’s kids, eat copious amounts of raw dairy, fatty meat, liver and broth, eat a minimal amount of sugar, brush their teeth when they can remember i.e. not often and with glycerin-free and fluoride-free toothpaste and have not yet had any cavities.

UPDATE October 2009: my last visit to the dentist: I had a clean bill of health. No more cavities, no more fillings, no more sensitivity. I have been on the Weston Price diet for three years and seem to have re-mineralized my teeth. No fillings for my children yet either – a great achievement!! I have an issue with a root canal however, given to me by a french dentist (without my knowledge) three years ago – for more info see here: is there a link between root canals and cancer?

45.833611 6.865000
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This is the site I found this from.
http://constantstateofflux.com/2007/10/01/tooth-regeneration/

2010-04-01T11:05:00.001-07:00

2010-03-25T16:20:00.000-07:00

This week after we took spring break I decided to really work at making school more fun and relaxed. We took it easy the first day and the last two Christian has really injoyed and said they were fun and easy. Lol! That from a boy who has been saying he doesn't like school is a wonderful thing to hear! I haven't really changed all we do that much either LOL! I am glad and pray I can continue to be able to make it fun for them all.
I think the biggest thing I did was to let him write about things he loves and not push any other righting except some in Language. So each morning he gets his Ken Ham dinasour book and picks out a dinasour,writes out its name,what it means, and information we have underlined about it. Like how long his frills are,how much it weighed, etc. The first time he did it I said look you just did writing, reading and spelling! His head came up with shock he said,"I did"? Then he was very pleased!
Josh has supprised me and gets pleased when I tell him it is time to do his phonics LOL! He is reading even though he has as of yet showed an interest in reading on his own yet but that is fine. He does seem to like reading with me so far.
With Kiah I have been taking it slow and not pushing it. He already knows his alphabet and what each letter says and can add and subtract with objects. Today I gave him some work to just work on his hand cordination and he thanked me so happyily lol! He is so funny!
Homeschooling four boys isn't easy many many days but when I sit back and see my boys I am so happy that even with all the struggles it is so worth it!
We then had lunch and took naps,then walked over to the neighbors who have a playground in their yard and have let us know even if they aren't home to come over and play. They are like having grandparents living next to you. Wonderful christian people! I am just so thankful for where God has us right now!

I am excited about this Easter! The boys are excited about celebrating Christs Resurection!They let me know it was ok if they didn't get any Easter eggs couse that isn't what Easter is about any way. And got so excited to think of the plants coming back to life lol in spring time and at the same time we celebrate Christs coming back to life. And loved looking for things that would remind them of Christs resurection. Josh said horses and grass lol,Kiah got excited and called the telephone poles cross's.Christian said we should have a hunt for Bibles instead of eggs and get a marshellow each time we find a Bible. Sometimes I wonder what exactly have we done to make the boys love God so much!Ha Ha it wasn't us lol!It is all Gods doing! I pray their love for God just gets stronger and stronger! They are teaching us many times in the things they say! I love it!

Salvation happens with three year olds too!

2010-03-12T11:37:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we had worship and Bible time. The boys and I. Kiah my three year old came and stood in front of me as I read and I stopped when salvation was talked about and looked at him and asked him if he new what that was. He said no. So I explained and he still had a hard time saying," God wouldn't fit he was too big," lol! So I explained some more and he said he understood. I was unsure if he did. I asked him if he had Jesus in his heart and he said,"No". So I asked if he wanted to ask Jesus to come into his heart. He said,"Yes". So I took him on my lap and held his hand as he laid his cheek on my cheek and we prayed together. I was still unsure if he had any idea what we had done.
But that night as I was trying to read the Bible to the boys Christian said Kiah was praying. And sure enough he was. He asked God if he could ask Him a question and said,"Please forgive us for not obeying mom and for love Amen!" I was quite surprised because he had never done that before. Christian was beaming and said,"He's never done that"! LOL!
Then today he started praying over the food at lunch with out being asked and thanked God for friends coming and for being in our hearts and the food Amen! I am still surprised! I have always known that God had plans for the little rambunctious boy! I love it!!!

Simplify the Curriculum

2010-03-12T11:16:00.000-08:00

by Ruth Beechick

http://www.homeschooltoday.com/news/168/30/Simplify-the-Curriculum.htm

Public schools have multiplied subjects over the years. They continually move subjects to lower and lower grades. They break apart a subject into bits and name each bit as a separate subject. Language is the worst victim of this treatment. They spread writing, for instance, through classes on penmanship, grammar, vocabulary, spelling, creative writing, and more. Reading, likewise.
A smart homeschooler wrote on her blog, “For reading we read and for writing we write.” How commonsensical! Homeschoolers don’t need to follow the artificial school pattern. They can be more realistic.

Spelling

Let’s say you are writing a letter to the editor in which you want no mistakes. You come to the word restaurant and you’re not sure about the spelling, especially the middle syllable, so you check a dictionary and get it right. Checking a dictionary is a real-life spelling skill or habit your child needs to learn. Memorizing twenty words on a list is not real life. It is school busywork. Homeschoolers who understand this pass up the books with weekly spelling lists. In middle grades, they may study a book that teaches some advanced phonics or complexities of English spelling. They may use short five- or six-word lists of words the child uses and misspells. Most of all they teach the habit of checking on a word in their writing they are unsure of. That helps them for life, as twenty-word lists do not.

Penmanship

Focus on handwriting when children are first learning manuscript (printing) and again when they learn cursive. Switching to cursive takes about three weeks if you wait until a child is good at manuscript—usually sometime in third grade. Keep a model alphabet in sight on a wall or desk for as long as children refer to it. You could emphasize good penmanship in combination with some other writing goal, but forget six or more years of daily penmanship “class.” Hold a crash course when needed to improve sloppy writing. Working on uniform slant and uniform height will usually help.

Grammar

By school age, children speak mostly correct grammar if the people around them do. Therefore, the best way to fix a sentence that needs fixing is to read it aloud to the child. He can hear what’s wrong and fix it.
Plenty of research shows there is no correlation between knowledge of grammar and ability to write. Grammar in the lower grades is one of those subjects that schools push down to lower grades. It clutters the curriculum. It repeats every year. It’s boring, and it does not help writing at all. The best place for grammar is somewhere in the teen years after a student writes quite well. That educates him more about our language, and it may help now and then with an editing problem.

Vocabulary

If your violin-playing daughter joins an orchestra, she may quickly learn that a viola and cello are different from her violin. She will learn many instrument names new to her and group names such as woodwinds, brasses, and percussion. If she reads about horses, her vocabulary stretches in another direction.
Reading and life activities are natural ways to build vocabulary. Children add thousands of words per year to their usable vocabulary. You couldn’t match that with vocabulary lessons if you tried. Mostly you would waste time. A lesson might ask the child to look up a word in a dictionary, to copy the definition, and to use the word in a sentence. The words are isolated from the child’s life, she is bored with the assignments, and she does not end up using the words in her speech or writing.

Creative Writing

I am never sure what people mean by creative writing. Some may mean that a child makes up a story rather than writing a report on a science topic. But fiction writers read lots of fiction and build their stories out of ideas already fed into their minds. C. S. Lewis furnished his mind with the writings of George MacDonald and others, and he said his stories came out of the “furniture” of his mind. The science report must do the same, and it is creative writing as the student tries to summarize or clarify for his readers what happened in the experiment or the book.
Insofar as creative writing means to set a child down with an empty mind and empty sheet of paper, forget it.

Writing

You can, in general, omit a writing class much of the time. If a child writes a report for science, answers some questions in history, or maybe pens or e-mails a letter to Grandpa, he has done writing; you do not need to add a writing class to clutter his schedule. If you own some writing curriculum, the best way to use most of it is to choose lessons that look interesting and useful to you and use them on days when you have time for more writing. Certain lessons on how an essay is organized or tips for plotting a story can prove useful.
Writing is not learned step-by-step, day-by-day. It grows gradually with use, in the same way children learned to speak in their early years. You don’t need to grade writing each day or each week. Just provide opportunities to write and be an appreciative audience. Then watch improvement happen across the months. Think of writing as a skill to use in all subjects and not as a daily “class” of its own.
“For writing we write” is a great motto for simplifying and strengthening language teaching.
©2009 Homeschooling Today magazine, Nehemiah Four, LLC

Are You a Good Mom?

2010-03-09T11:41:00.000-08:00

Hello!
How are you doing in your job as a Mom? I think it is easy to get busy with the books, schedules and lesson plans of homeschooling and forget to take a clear look at our "big goal". I want to raise good people who love God, family and country. That's why I homeschool. I want to be close to them, to love them fully, to be a good mom to them. That's why I homeschool.
What a blessing it is to have children under our influence! I am trying to make that influence a very good influence—it makes such a difference in the long run! We all raise clones, for better or for worse. So much responsibility lies on our shoulders, Mothers. A friend once suggested to me that homeschooling is really "celestial mothering". I like that term!
"The happy people are the ones who are good, who were loved and cared for and played with as children, and who therefore have an enormous capacity now to love and care and play. Other people, including their own children, enjoy their company. Everyone is happier because of them. Civilization works better because of them."—Orson Scott Card
It takes effort to be a "Jump Up" Mother. But responding to those "Look-it, Mom" calls goes a long way in cementing a life long relationship. Let's focus on, take the time, and really put in the effort to be a good mom. With the world in increasing chaos, we may feel powerless. It is so true that the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world. There is nothing that will have such a lasting impact on the world than our good mothering. We are far, far more powerful than we realize!
Remember, love is spelled "T-I-M-E" to a child.http://www.lovetolearn.net/email_special/

I need to look at things differently

2010-03-09T10:54:00.000-08:00

I realize I have lost the joy of homeschooling and have become overwhelmed with all that I have to do each day. I was looking up things to maybe help me see things differently and I found this site. I love it and I definitely was a help!

The Baby IS The Lesson
One morning on my daily walk, I was fretting and stewing over what I could possibly do with my one-year-old during school time. I was feeling some despair with a new baby on its way. I couldn't see any end to the disruption of babies in my home school for many years to come. I was praying and scheming at the same time: I could wait until the baby's nap to teach school, I could rotate the children with baby-sitting chore away from our schoolroom, I could get a playpen . . . all solutions that didn't feel right--babies needs their moms!
As I walked and pondered, suddenly the Lord introduced one sentence to my mind and revolutionized my mindset entirely! "The baby IS the lesson!" I thought I was trying to teach Math, but in reality I had been teaching, day by day, how an adult values the precious gift of children. My children, by watching how I deal with the frustration of a crying baby or keep a toddler happy and busy with some of his "own" pieces while we play a math game, are soaking up "the lesson". Unfortunately, I had occasionally been teaching that the baby interrupts our learning.
How to be a Christlike person is the most valuable lesson a child could ever learn! The lesson is learned moment by moment; watching a parent being patient, handling frustration with kindness, pressing on for the goal in spite of numerous interruptions, valuing each child's needs regardless of inconvenience. That valuable insight--how Mother handles the baby is the real lesson--has dramatically changed how I view my home school. I am teaching foremost my values: godly character, kindness, respect for others, individuality, sacrifice and a host of other Christlike attributes. Teaching them reading, writing, math, etc. is very important to me but my perspective has been altered. "Mimic me, follow me and I will show you the way a Christlike person acts and what he values". That is the message every parent relays to their children whether they are aware of it or not. Children try to copy everything anyway (our mannerisms, our daily activities, etc.). We must be certain that we are providing a correct pattern for them to copy, not only in our daily activities but in our attitude, our tone of voice, and our facial expression. We need to conduct our lives so that we can say "follow me". If our children are to "buy" our values, what a tremendous responsibility we have to make sure we are living our best so the lesson is clear and well learned! What more could you ask for from your homeschool than to produce Christlike people?!
Teaching your children basically means getting your own personal life in order and striving daily to be the leader for them to follow. Of course, we fall short and they must look to Christ for the perfect being but they need to see daily how one acts, speaks, lives, solves problems. We are acting as a proxy, in a sense, for Christ. Since they can't have his daily role model, then he has given his children parents to be an example, to point the way. Along with lesson preparations, we need to prepare ourselves by asking: is the pattern I live the way Christ would act? Can I say today that I have marked the path for my children to follow? Children learn from seeing their parent's role model. Watching an adult make a simple mistake (such as being too punitive with a child) and go through the process of repenting is 100 times more effective than your devotional lesson on repentance. This means children must be intimately involved with you in your daily life. A few hours a day after school won't do it.
Children should be involved in the adult's life rather than daily life rotating around the children. Research has shown that children who have grown up to be productive well-adjusted adults are those who have been drawn into the parent's world; their daily activities, work, and interests; rather than having parents who centered their world on the child. When I began home schooling, I never could find the time to do the things I felt were important for my life; such as writing in my journal, corresponding with relatives, studying my scriptures, and more. Somehow, in my busy-ness of trying to teach the kids how to write in their journals, I was neglecting my own journal writing. Thankfully, we now have journal writing time in school daily, and we write letters to relatives together as a family on Sunday. Homeschool life should help parents do the daily necessities, rather than usurp the time needed for them. Home maintenance, chores, food preparation, gardening, food preservation, budgeting, clothing care (mending and sewing), planning family social relationships, caring for small children, record keeping, quilting, wallpapering, etc. are all wonderful life skills that can be done together that enhance a child's education!
The parent's joyful task is to lead and guide the child into the real world--not set up a contrived pseudo-world to teach skills that the children would easily learn if they spent their time around adults who were striving to live good lives. What constitutes an adult trying to live a "good life"? Being a productive adult would constitute a full-time curriculum! Plant a garden, read good literature, serve the needy, be politically aware, keep a journal, vote for honest men, develop your talents, etc. The exciting part about leading a child into the real world is that they are self-motivated. The moment I sit down to play the piano, all my children want to play and want me to teach them to play something. No sooner than I begin typing on the computer, I have the whole family "needing" to type. My efforts at writing have, humorous to me, stimulated the production of "books" from my youngest children. Modeling is so much more effective than lecturing.
Studies show that the biggest determining factor for a child's success in reading in school is if they have seen a parent reading in the home on a regular basis. This is especially true for boys if the parent who reads is their father, rather than their mother. Somehow, the example says far more about the value of reading than endless hours in school reading groups.
In every area, it takes instruction to teach skills to little people. Children need to master the basic academic skills (reading, writing, arithmetic), social manners, music competence, and a host of other abilities and that does take focused concentration and time from mother/teacher to accomplish. It isn't realized just by living in a family. But shared family life practices and contributes to those skills. Having taught my little girl the numbers and the plus, minus and equal signs and how they worked, she jumped right into figuring out how many plates she needed to set the table using her new skills: ("We have 9 and the boys are gone to college so that is minus 3, so we need six").
When we think of homeschool, sometimes we get tunnel vision, and think "academics", "keeping up to speed" and other worrisome concerns that don't really tell the whole story. Homeschool is the growing and nurturing of fine, upright people. So, how we treat and value the baby really is the lesson.
Class never dismissed.
—Diane Hopkins http://www.lovetolearn.net/homeschool_articles/baby.lasso?-session=store:3FF5BB9F078be1BF0BirS2D72D9C

Boys and Guns: Okay to Play?

2010-03-08T18:41:00.000-08:00

Boys and Guns: Okay to Play?

http://www.education.com/magazine/article/Ed_Boys_Guns_Okay_Play/

by Lucy Rector Filppu
Topics: Identity, more...

“Bang, bang, you’re dead!” For most of us, hearing such threats from a preschool boy is unsettling to say the least. But for Marjan Wilkes, a veteran California preschool teacher, such pretend play among her 4-year-old students is par for the course. "I might say ‘Aaargg’ and announce ‘I'm dead’," says Wilkes. She clarifies: “They know that I am pretending, and by joining in, I send the message that I know they are pretending, too.”

In the world of hot parenting topics, boys and imaginary gunplay ranks at the top. In a culture already filled with violent video games, TV programs and images of a real war, it can be unnerving to see an innocent child pretending to kill someone. Yet no study has yet linked pretend gunplay to future violent behavior, and most child experts agree that by forbidding gunplay entirely, parents give it far more power and will probably drive it underground.

Assuming you’re willing to take their word for it, what should you do? How can you allow your kids to “experiment” and use their imagination, guns blazing, without losing your cool? Here are a few tips:

Shaming Is Never Helpful
Despite our potential discomfort, we must be careful in how we deal with boys who want to play with pretend guns. “The last thing you want to do is shame your child – because that leads boys to mask their feelings and act with false bravado,” warns William Pollack, Ph.D., author of Real Boys. Instead, ask open-ended questions about the gunplay, and even play along to better understand your child’s perspective.

Make Decisions Together
If your child’s gunplay is making you or another child uncomfortable, reflect on your feelings calmly. Try saying, “I know you’re having fun with your pretend play, but I feel a little scared by guns. Real guns can kill and I feel afraid when you point your finger at me like that.” If you choose to limit gunplay, invite your boy to participate in the process.

Use Props That Have Multiple Uses
If possible, avoid realistic commercial toy guns. If your child wants to experiment with gunplay, try using popsicle sticks, rolled up newspaper, or any prop that might just as easily transform into a sword, thermometer, microphone, or baton. Gunplay should be just one part of a broad repertoire of play possibilities.

Clarify Your Values
A child participating in gunplay is usually yearning to understand power in relationships. By killing the “bad guys,” he can, in his mind, exert some control over his world. “Model ways of problem solving that are respectful of all the parties concerned, and that are not hurtful either physically or emotionally,” says Wilkes. “Talk about what you can do to promote a more peaceful culture.”

Most of all, take a deep breath and realize this is a stage, like any other. It doesn’t mean your child is destined for a life of crime. Curiosity and vulnerability often lie underneath our sons’ “Bang, Bang” bravado. This may be helpful to remember next time there’s a finger pointed in your direction.

Broken Friendships

2010-03-03T21:17:00.000-08:00

I have many friends! And lost one this year. It hurts but I know we do have good memories and I wish her only the best! I will always treasure our memories D.L! Like the time I had to squash the flying roach cause you wouldn't and screamed as I did it so I wouldn't hear the crunch lol! Miss you and our conversations but I believe one day we will have them again!
God uses this kind of thing to teach each of us something new. At least I feel it has for me. God is good and loves me when I don't deserve it! I am glad he is over my life and no one else!!!!!!!!
This speaks to me of many many things and relationships in my life!I am sure it does to many who read it from the web site. It is always good to be reminded by others of ways to deal with things. I love looking at these kinds of articles and seeing how I can take some or all of it and measure my life and actions by them and with prayer of course. This is a good reminder!

Broken Friendships

Dr. Todd Linaman

Cindy and Lisa met at church, and soon became close friends. They spent time talking, hiking, taking their children on outings, and playing tennis. They encouraged, advised and comforted each other and shared their greatest hopes, dreams, and fears. After five years, Cindy sensed that Lisa was pulling away. The calls decreased, dinner invitations stopped and the usual warm greetings at church began to feel awkward and forced.

At first, Cindy shrugged it off, thinking Lisa was just busy with her family and other commitments. When several weeks passed without any contact, Cindy asked Lisa to lunch. Instead
of hearing that Lisa was incredibly busy and overcommitted, Cindy was met with an unexpected barrage of anger and harsh accusations. Lunch was a disaster and Cindy left feeling shocked and confused. Despite several attempts at reconciliation, the friendship couldn’t be restored and Cindy was left to pick up the pieces of her broken heart.

When a relationship ends, it can leave you feeling rejected, unloved, inadequate and angry. When you’ve exhausted all attempts to reconcile without success, it’s important to direct
your attention toward healing the hurt, letting go, and moving forward.

Healing the hurt of a broken relationship

I’ve identified and included the following seven suggestions to help you cope with a damaged or hurt friendship. Study them, and then apply them to your broken friendships.

Exercise your faith

Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” God knows what you’re going through – loss, pain, disappointment, and anger are no strangers to Him. He longs to encourage and strengthen you. Healing begins when you exercise your faith and believe that He will keep His promises.

Take ownership

Moving forward in the aftermath of a broken relationship involves taking personal ownership of the role you may have played in its demise. Romans 3:23 says we’ve all sinned and fallen short of God’s glory and that sin can include destructive attitudes and actions that play out in our interaction with others. We can all be neglectful, insensitive, selfish, or inconsiderate at times. To deny the possibility that you contributed to the problem, to some degree, can almost guarantee resentment and anger.

Extend grace

When you’re seriously wronged by someone claiming to love you, you must choose whether or not to hold onto the offense and allow bitterness to take up residence. If you do, remember that you’re the one who is likely to be seriously harmed by it. To be truly liberated from your pain you must choose to extend grace to the offender, no matter what they’ve done. Forgiveness not only frees you emotionally, but Matthew 6:14 also teaches that forgiving others is directly tied to God forgiving you.

Express the pain

There are many ways to process the pain of a significant loss, but few are as destructive as silencing its voice. Unacknowledged and unexpressed pain can become a source of stress, as well as a barrier to future relational intimacy. Honestly and constructively talk about your experience with a trusted friend or family member, or perhaps your pastor or a professional counselor.

Take the high road

Benjamin Franklin once said, “I will speak ill of no man, and speak all the good I know of everybody.” To speak poorly of someone who hurt you only proves that you’re holding a
grudge and that your goal is revenge. To combat this temptation, pray as David did in Psalm 19:14, “May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.” Be willing to follow the directive given in 1 Peter 3:8 as well: “Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.”

Focus on the blessings

When a relationship breaks, it’s normal and natural to think about what you’ve lost. However, it’s always better to try focusing on what you gained or how you benefited from the relationship. Memories of fun, laughter, companionship, support, and intimacy don’t have to be lost along with the friendship. Acknowledge the blessings and do your best to maintain a grateful heart as in 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18: “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

Embrace those who love you

When suffering the loss of a relationship, it’s important to turn toward and embrace the people in your life who love you. Allow God to use these relationships to comfort you and give you hope to move forward (2 Corinthians 1:3).

A friend forever

Even when you’ve done your best to choose good friendships, you may still experience times of rejection. If someone has wounded you, it’s natural to want to construct a protective shield, insulate your emotions, and vow never to be vulnerable again. This may remove the threat of rejection, but at the high cost of loneliness and the loss of satisfaction in another relationship.

You may hurt so intensely you feel nobody could understand the extent of your wounds. But Jesus can. No one has ever experienced the rejection He did. The hatred against Him was so profound that it ultimately led to His execution on the cross. Not only was He rejected by the religious leadership, He was abandoned by His closest friends at the time of His greatest need.

Jesus’ love for His friends – and for you – took Him to Calvary. When you accept Christ’s incredible gift of salvation, you’ve made a Friend who will never fail you. When you’re lonely, He is present; when you’re maligned, He knows the truth; when you’re ill, He offers hope; when you’re lost, He shows the way. He promises, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5). Never. What an awesome Friend!

I have many friends! And lost one this year. It hurts but I know we do have good memories and I wish her only the best! God uses this kind of thing to teach each of us something new. At least I feel it has for me. God is good and loves me when I don't deserve it! I am glad he is over my life and no one else!!!!!!!!

The Most Valuable Moments in Your Child's Day By Rod Robison

2010-03-03T20:55:00.000-08:00

With the demands of daily life and parenthood comes the challenge of setting priorities. By zeroing in on the essentials and not being overly concerned with the non-essentials we not only avoid unnecessary conflict with our kids, we avoid needless stress in our lives as well. And, as a result, we make it easier for everyone in the family to concentrate their efforts on the issues that really count for eternity.
Sometimes the most important things we do are the simplest. One of the most effective times of day for parent-child relationships is bedtime. During "tuck in time" there are fewer distractions, especially if lights are out. And your time with them in those moments will be the last thing they experience before they drift off to sleep. Some child development specialists tell us that whatever a child is thinking about just before sleep will tend to stay with him subconsciously during the night.
Why not make those special moments a time of bonding with your child? And, better yet, why not make it a three-way bonding between you, your child, and God?
First, if there are any unresolved conflicts between you and you child they should be resolved before bedtime. God tells us in His word that we should not let the "sun go down on [our] anger." Try to avoid resurrecting an old argument. Be loving in your attempt to bring whatever issue it is to a point of resolution. And, most importantly, don't be afraid to say "I'm sorry" (and mean it) if you are at fault.
Finally, take a few moments to pray for your child. Try to avoid using your prayer as an opportunity to "preach" to your child, but don't hesitate to mention issues you and your child are working on to your Heavenly Father. He wants your relationship to be the best it can be, so bring Him in on the issue.
Pray specifically for your child rather than try to "pray around the world." Here are a few ideas of what you can pray for:

Thank God for giving her to you.
Ask Him for guidance for you as you try to be an example to her.
Pray for her future husband that he will grow to be a godly man.
Pray that your relationship with each other will be loving and kind.
Pray that she will "hate the things that God hates and love the things that He loves."
Pray that she will grow each day to be more and more like Jesus.

I personally believe that no child (even into the teen years) is too old for prayer before bedtime.
It's easy to miss these very precious opportunities God gives us parents each night. But they slip away all too soon, never to return. So grasp those moments while they're here. And, more than likely, when your child is an adult he or she will look back at bedtime with Mom and Dad with longing nostalgia.

ER

2010-03-01T15:07:00.000-08:00

So I went to the ER last night with AAron! I hadn't been to the ER for me unless because of pregnancy in 6 and a half years. I was so nervous I wouldn't stop talking lol! It turns out I have surface Thrombphlebitis. Which is a blood clot but not life threatening. I am to rest my leg often and take Aspirin for blood thinning,pain and swelling.
I am ever so grateful for my church family. I called a friend to get a nurse from churchs number and she prayed and loved on me! She then came and watched the kids while Aaron took me to the Er and we then eat out together. That was soo nice a way to end a nerve racking evening.
The boys loved being watched by Julie! Ethan wouldn't even kiss me goodbye lol! I was glad they were happy.
God is so good!

2010-03-01T07:11:00.001-08:00

Here are some home made products I want to try soon.
Sunshine Shampoo for Blonde Hair
Ingredients
1/4 cup liquid castile soap
2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
1/4 cup water
1 teaspoon lemon zest

Directions
Mix together all the ingredients and heat in the microwave on high for 1 to 2 minutes until it is hot but not boiling. Cool the mixture completely and strain to remove the lemon zest. Store in a bottle. Shampoo as you normally would. Rinse well with cool water.

Quick Pre-Shampoo Oil Treatment for Dry Ends
Ingredients
olive oil
-Or-
jojoba oil

Directions
Pour a small amount of oil into the palm of your hand. Rub palms together and gently apply to ends of hair. Shampoo as usual

Baking Soda Clarifier for Heavy Product Build-Up
Ingredients
3 tablespoons baking soda
1 1/2 teaspoons creamy honey
1/4 teaspoon water
Cider Vinegar Clarifying Rinse [see above]

Directions
Mix ingredients together to form a paste. Add additional water, a few drops at a time, if the mixture is too thick. Shampoo hair as usual. Apply mixture to hair and leave on for up to five minutes. Rinse hair as usual. Poor Cider Vinegar Clarifying Rinse through hair, do not rinse again [the cider vinegar scent will very quickly dissipate]. If your hair is "squeaky clean" apply a light, silicone-free conditioner or silicone-free leave-in conditioner. This is best used for first-time clarifying, by those who use a full line of hair products that include silicone that have left behind a heavy build-up, or those who clarify rarely.

Clarifying Cider Vinegar Rinse
Ingredients
1/2 cup cider vinegar
1 1/2 cups cool water [the cooler the better]

Directions
Mix ingredients in an unbreakable bottle. Shampoo and rinse hair as usual. Poor vinegar rinse through hair, do not rinse again [the cider vinegar scent will very quickly dissipate]. Conditioner should not be needed but you can apply a leave-in conditioner to ends if necessary. Ratio of vinegar to water may be adjusted according to the amount of clarifying needed or frequency of use. This rinse is probably the most popular homemade hair product, it will effectively remove product build-up from hair [including silicone] and leave it very soft and shiny.

Avocado Deep Conditioner
Ingredients
1 small jar of mayonnaise
1/2 avocado

Directions
Peel avocado and remove pit. Mix all ingredients in a medium-sized bowl with your hands until it's a consistent green color. Smooth into hair being careful to work it to the ends. Use shower cap or plastic wrap to seal body heat in. Leave on hair for 20 minutes. For deeper conditioning wrap a hot, damp towel around your head over the plastic, or use a hair dryer set to a low to medium heat setting.

2010-02-27T20:44:00.001-08:00

I have been thinking alot about things. God has such a way of teaching us what he wants us to learn lol. I see so many hurting people and when they hurt they take out their pain on others in words and actions. It hurts me to see them in pain and to see them react the way they do! Why is it so darn hard for us to treat others especially those closest to us the way God says to treat them? Well I do know the answer but yet it continues to surprise me each time I see or hear it happen. I wonder if that is how God feels. He knows what we each will do but when we chose to take the wrong path He still hurts and feels disappointed. I realize it is easier to point the finger at the person that has hurt us and demand that we receive justice and of course that means what we decide is justice for what they have done. But God forgave all of our sins at the cross even before we did them(don't take this to say all are going to heaven. We still have to accept that gift and make a choice to follow Christ). That is why he died to forgive us all our sins. All our sins. Not the ones we did today or yesturday but all our sins. Yet we people feel we have a right to hold something over another person and make demands of them all the while saying unkind things or negative things about them because they hurt us or did us wrong. So like Christ was isn't it lol! Not!
I hurt for those people when I see it in their lives! God continues to show me areas in my life that I do this in and am always hurt that I have messed up again but am also overjoyed when I am reminded by God or my dear Husband how God loves me in spite of my faults and mistakes and learning to truly accept that and grasp that has helped me to see others or begin to I'm still in training with God but to see others differently. I still get angry or hurt but it doesn't last long nor do I want it to! I also don't take things as personal as often and when I do I realize it a lot sooner and begin to give it over to God!
I don't want to live the life of blame,hurt or anger anymore! I want to be like Christ and to see others as He sees them. To be able to give grace to those that don't deserve it just like I don't deserve Christs grace and salvation but He gives it to me anyway! That is so amazing to me! To begin to not just know it in my head but feel it and desire it and begin to understand it. It is one thing to know and believe and another to desire and begin to put it into practice. With Gods help of course not on my own. I am nothing without Christ! Nothing!
I want to be molded and shaped into what God has planned for me! I have to admit that at times that scares me because I know there will be something He might as me to do that is out of my comfort zone or takes me out of my box. But though I am fearful of change many times I am more fearful of not changing. To change into Christs image....
If anyone reads this and thinks I am speaking of them imp articular understand my thoughts encompass me,my own experiences and many people in my life not a single person, meaning not just one or two or three but many,many,many people!
God help me to not focus so much on my life that I forget to think,care and love on and for others outside of my home!

Excited

2010-02-27T19:24:00.000-08:00

Today after trying on like 13 dress's I finally found one to wear to the Ball. Yes I am going to a Military Ball! Josh my sweet said he loved it and when he saw me taking it up to the register he began to get upset telling me "no keep it" lol! He though I was taking it back. He is so sweet!

At first I looked every where and just about gave up then I realized I was looking in the wrong size lol! It feels good to be small again!
It was exhausting with the four boys trying to find a dress though. They don't like the process at all! Josh deals with it best out of them all. Aaron was such a help! I would have given up and went home frustrated and upset. Man they can complain about not having fun ugg... Aaron turned it into a relaxed and calm time. They all fell asleep in the car on the way to the mall and so he just napped in the van with them till they woke up and let me go in and try dress's on. Then brought them in and looked at game cube games and looked at all the dress's I liked the most. He liked the one I did a deep blue one. Then he got us all something to eat and some ice cream! He is just has a calming affect on me when I am stressed lol! Thank God for husbands!!!!!

Now I am getting a craft,story and stuff ready for doing nursery tomorrow morning! I do love little ones! They are fun!
Now to decide what to do about eating when we come home. Hmmm... Maybe we will just go eat some bread sticks at Pizza Hut. Hmmm.... Unsure...

Remedies and ramblings

2010-02-20T21:50:00.000-08:00

Ok so I have done all these remedies plus another.
You add 1/2 tsp. ginger and 1tsp. honey and take once a day for phlegm. The boys didn't mind that one to bad except they said it was spicy and drank lots of water but said it didn't taste bad.
Christian hated the onion juice! He hates onions lol and the first time I made it I blended up the soft onions and so it was thicker. The second time I made it I just cooked it till most of the onions were mush then took them out with a slotted spoon. Josh and Kiah didn't mind it at all and said it was good. Christian still didn't like it lol!
All of them didn't mind the Goot on the feet. They said it was cold and tickled when I put it on but that was it. As of Thursday they are acting normal with little coughing. Mainly when they get to playing or dancing allot.
I also didn't let them go outside hardly at all and we didn't leave the house until today. Trying to keep them away from people and the cold away from them.
Oh I also did honey and lemon juice in hot water as a drink a few times and had Josh and Christian sit over steamy water with their head covered with a towel till they couldn't stand it anymore. I did that only once though.
I am happy to say the boys are well on there way to being totally over this! Yes!

I am also excited because we got most of their schooling books for next year already. I was able to get some Ken Ham movies and books,Abeka etc. I am just so excited! Aaron was a great help in deciding what get for them. Boy do I love that man! I am one of those people that get over whelmed with decision making with things like this. There is just so much out there. He balances me out so perfectly!

We will be staying here in Mac after all! I am happy knowing God is in control and not me! I look forward to doing more painting in the house. Maybe in the spring or summer they will fix the front porch.
I look forward to getting my hands in the dirt and planting flowers and a garden. I hope to do better this year. If I can figure out how to keep bugs out of my garden lol. Without pesticides.

I want to get a pool that is big enough we can all get in but not so big I am always worried a child might drown in it when I turn my back.Cause they get in so quick! They have no fear of water as of yet lol!

I am excited for Aaron. He is in two plays this year and gets to go over seas and we hope to go on vacation to Branson after that is all done. By then Ethan should be totally potty trained.
Sigh of relief..
The kids and I are so excited to see the plays! We went and checked out all the levels of the Apra house today while Aaron practiced. The boys loved it! Especially the third floor.

I am excited,Happy,Elated to say that in one and a half months we will have been married for 10 years! It only gets better as Renee put it so well! It truly does! I still look at him and feel so over come with love and joy! That is only because God is at the center of our marriage. But oh how many people can't say that about their marriage! It makes me sad yet happy I do think and feel this way.
God is truly an amazing God! He heals all,cures all,fills all,fulfills all,provides all,and He is all! He is the best Daddy in the world! I am humbled to think of all He has and does do for me! With all my faults and mistakes! I only pray that I can learn to love others and show grace half as much as He does to me!
My earthly father was a wonderful example of what my heavenly Father is like. Because of him I was able to accept and desire to have the best Father Father God to be my one and only in life. There is none that can fill all my hurts and sorrows as He can and does! I have learned to lean on Him! Not friends,family not even my husband can give me what I truly need! Only He can! When my eyes are on Him then my husband,children,family and friends are loved and cared for more and in a much better way. When my eyes are not focusing on Him then my husband,children,family and friends are not treated with the love and respect they deserve. I am still in training to continually focus on my Father God first. God please forgive me when I don't focus on you first and let others and things be my focus!

My faults are always before me but God is always above me reminding me that He is there to guide me and wash away my faults. I just have to focus on Him and continue to give Him me,my husband,my children,my family and my friends,my hurts,desires,dreams,wishes everything.

home remedies

2010-02-15T07:44:00.000-08:00

So I came back from my wonderful weekend alone with my wonderful Husband to find all my boys have hacking coughs and some have fevers. I have tried some natural cough medicine from the store and have seen no improvement so am trying three home remedy's. One is Onion juice. Sounds nasty but am gonna try it. Here is the recipe:
This is not a cure, but a treatment for stuffy phlegmmy cold sufferers, passed down from my grandmother Ethel. Recipe: take two large yellow onions, peeled,halved and quartered. Place in a small saucepan and just cover with water. Add about two cups of sugar. The water should be grainy, as there should be so much sugar that it doesn’t dissolve completely. Bring to a rapid boil and stir until all sugar is absorbed. Lower temperature to a rolling boil and simmer uncovered until onions are mush and liquid has a very syrupy consistency. Remove from heat, and be careful, as this is boiled sugar here, don’t burn yourself! Completely mush the onions, and if you’re finicky (or your patient is) sieve syrup to get rid of onion bits, although this step is not truly necessary as onion syrup just happens to taste delicious. Decant into a glass jar. Administer every couple of hours or so by the tablespoonful to deep-chest cold victims who cough a lot and have a lot of phlegm. Best if taken warm. keeps a good week or a little more in the fridge. after that, it can be frozen for the next cold

The second one is much more simple. Honey and Lemon juice in hot water and drink. For coughs. The boys liked that one and Josh said his throat felt better.

The third one was given to me by my sister in law. It is called Goot lol funny name!

GOOT

3 Tbsp finely chopped garlic

3 Tbsp Coconut oil

3 Tbsp Olive oil

If the coconut oil isn't liquid then melt it before adding to the rest. Put all three in the blender and blend til smooth. It's good to strain it through something (even a slotted spoon) to get the big chucks of garlic out. Then chill for an hour. After the hour it should have a paste like consistency. I normally put it on their feet, with socks over it (less mess that way) but you can also rub it on his chest.

There you go!

I am determined to get these boys better! I will right how it goes later! I might try a raisin one I found also.
It is like a chain reaction of coughing here. Sigh..... At least Kiah isn't coughing so bad right now!

Homeschooling

2010-02-04T10:29:00.000-08:00

I am really feeling disturbed by people who don't understand or regard highly what a homeschooling mother does! I have had many people smile and say,"Oh I've been there" "I understand what your dealing with" But not to down play anything they have been through but I have as of yet to meet a single person outside of a meeting or two with the home school group in a long time that has any idea what it is like to stay at home and home school four boys under the age of seven.
To keep a house decently clean,children fed,school done,laundry kept up,food in the house,cooking meals and snacks, and in the summer taking care of the yard, and spend time with your kids, time with your husband,pray,read the Bible,make appointments for eye check ups,dentist visits,grocery shop,keep tabs on what the house needs,kids need with cloths,breakfast and lunch for your husbands day at work,time at church and many other little to big things that pop up.
No I don't do all of that in one day but I do a lot of it! Many nights I am so exhausted by the time the kids are all tucked in bed,prayers said,song sang and Bible read.

I don't say much when I am around most women because they have no clue what it is like and I feel if I do talk of it the look in there eyes is not something I feel understands or approves. And sometimes as if I am looking down on them because they don't or didn't.
The decision to home school isn't some thing most people care to understand. At least that is how I feel. It can feel very lonely even if your husband is behind it 100%.
I think I need to be more involved in the home school group. But there have been many reasons that has been difficult to do.
I am Blessed to have a wonderful Husband though it does truly make such a difference! God is the most wonderful support to have! I have always known this was His will not just mine and man that does help. I can make it with God on my side!I know I can!

A New and Living Way

2010-01-25T14:20:00.000-08:00

If you could penetrate the heart

To know anther's mind,

And find yourself reflected there
Your life would be refined.

You may not now appreciate
What others think kor say
Until you find yourself involved
In a new and living way.

There comes a time in every life-
Adjustments must be sought;
Replacing loads and burdens
With prayer, and praise and thought.

The Father has His children
Scattered everywhere.
At times we walk right past them
Not knowing they are there.

At other times we meet them,
And what great joy we share
Telling how the Lord has blessed,
And of His love and care.

"Be gentle unto all men." Tim. 2:24

2010-01-25T13:42:00.000-08:00

So we celebrated Ethans 2nd Birthday. It was so cute! I got the table cloth on and he stood there and kept saying," pesents!"(presents) When I got his gifts on the table his eyes got so huge and then we put the cake on the table and he just was so excited! We had to keep telling Kiah and Ethan not to blow before we got both candles lit lol! Aaron lit them twice Ha Ha!!!
And when he started taking the tissue paper out of the gift bags he he was all business and needed no help. It was so fun to watch! He got moms gift last. A stick horse which he adored and kept running through the house pushing the horse's ear! Grandma was very pleased!
It is amazing to see my boys grow up so fast! And to realize for the first time in what seems like forever I don't have any babies. That is amazing! I will enjoy it while it lasts even though I have loved having babies!
We have pink eye in the house right now or that is what we believe it to be. Josh had it first so I found a home remedy and used a few of them lol and it was gone the next day. Now Christian has been having watery eyes,itching and says they hurt so I have been using the remedy on him as well. It is odd the things that you can use and work instead of going to the doctor. I used equal amounts of honey and milk and drip it into the eye. It does sting for a minuet but then Christian says it feels really good.
I have been deciding what to order for school next year! I love to hunt for sales online and get excited when I find faith building fun educational materials!
Lol I love to hunt for deals! Just love it!
The boys loved the warmer weather! Aaron,Christian and Josh went on a bike ride Sunday! They had a blast! They always do when ridding bikes and especially when dad is with them!
I got a little done in the yard. Less I have to do when it warms up. There is always so much to do outside when you live in the country. But am so glad my boys have had this opportunity!

Funny things my boys do!

2010-01-07T19:05:00.001-08:00

Hmm where do I begin... They do so many things I am used to it and forget how funny they are until I tell someone else and they get such a kick out of it!

Yesterday I was making Pumpkin Bread for breakfast. I had all the spices on the counter. Why I didn't put them back up is beyond me but so Ethan got ahold of the Rum flavor and showed it to me and I smiled and told him what it was called. He repeated it back to me( which is something we do alot). I was sure he put it back but next thing I know he is dumping Rum into the bowl as I am mixing. Luckily there wasn't much in the bottle! I had no idea how the bread would end up tasting but it was actually real good! Thank you Ethan for your assistance.

Well later that day I realized Ethan was the only one unaccounted for and it was way to quite. So I headed to the bathroom(his favorite place to get into things) and heard the water running. I found him sitting in the tub. Sleep cloths and diaper still on of course with the hot water running. He was quit happy! I got pictures and video! Needless to say I took his cloths of and let him sit in water.

The day before that I found Ethan in the bathroom with his arms,cloths and hands covered in hairspray. He was just trying to be like mom lol! I was just glad he didn't rub is eyes before I got him washed up! He is such a funny little boy! I have found him spraying peroxide on his toes cause he said he had an awe. I have also found Aarons hair grease smeared on the bathroom cabinets and Him getting water out of the toilet and dumping it into the tub.

Kiah woke up this morning at about 1:30am and was crying until I held him then with his eyes closed he said,"I want more presents will you get me some more presents"? Lol! It has been ten day since he has opened gifts and wants more. The goof lol! I said for his Birthday and he said Ok. Lol his birthday is 7 months away.
Tonight as I paused righting this to check on him Kiah asked if he was gonna grow up to the moon. So funny! I love the things they ask! They have such wonderful ideas and imaginations! Kids are soo fun! When they are not frustrating lol!

I through many things in my life have found the way to freedom! I have found that when I give up my control, desires,ideas,plans,expectations,beliefs,fears,desires,needs, to God and release it all to God and allow Him to take over and do as He sees fit what ever it may be that it is fun,amazing,wonderful to watch God move! And much better than I ever could have hoped or dreamed! I am still learning to put this into practice. It is easy to forget when it hasn't been something I have made a habit in my life in the past! But well worth it! Well not always fun at first. Giving up all of those things can feel painful many many times but it doesn't last long and so rewarding!

Christmas

2009-12-26T16:49:00.000-08:00

This year Christmas was very different but I loved it! We went and spent Christmas eve and Christmas day with the Evens. It was snowing on the way there and by Christmas eve there was so much snow that we drove between 20-30 mile an hour. I couldn't wait to get to the house. I hid my face most the time until we got into town. I really need to over come that fear. Driving in heavy snow.
It was great seeing friends we hardly ever see! The boys loved seeing the girls again. Kiah asked if they could come with us lol!
We come home Christmas night and the three oldest boys opened gifts! I love seeing there excitement over there gifts! Ethan was asleep so he opened his in the morning.
Hopefully it wont snow anymore and then family will come here on Tuesday for family Christmas! We will miss not having all our family together! It of course is never the same when we are not all together!
I will start more baking tomorrow after nap time. I plan on making butter horns on Tuesday so we can have them fresh. We shall see how it all works out though. Aaron wants a Meringue Pie which I have never made so again we shall see how it all works out. Also want to try Peanut butter fudge and Lemon lime sugar cookies. With Aaron being home I think I can get it all done.

It really was a special time at the Evens home! Aaron has such a way of making things special! I do adore that man! Thank you Lord for all Your many many Blessings!

2009-12-23T11:02:00.000-08:00

I have truly enjoyed having my husband home so much! Yesterday we went and did some Christmas shopping just us and then later a bit with the boys. Then we came home and Aaron and I stayed up till about 3am painting the dining room and talking! I loved it and it looks great!

Of course my little guy had to wake up at 5:13 am! It was funny at around 10 am Josh came and wanted me to see Ethan. Ethan was sitting on the couch with his head leaning on the couch trying to keep his head from falling. LOL! It was funny so I gave him a pillow. Later I looked and he was sleeping with his feet sticking of the couch and then later he was standing with his chest on the couch. I got pics! And when he woke up he was attacked with Kiss's and hugs from his brothers. They love each other so much it is adorable!

Today We got the curtains up. I don't like the curtains but at least the windows are covered and I am thankful! We will wrap more gifts today! It is looking great!

I am so thankful for my boys who remind us that Christmas isn't about the toys!

2009-12-18T16:32:00.000-08:00

I was overcome with sadness today thinking about leaving this neighbor hood and friends here! Aaron applied for a full time military position in Wichita! We new this was coming but I didn't realize it would happen so fast! Yesterday Aaron said we need to make room to start keeping boxes.
I am ready to have a change though. I have loved living in the country but it really stinks that it is so hard for people to stop by and see us! I love having people over! It helps keep me motivated and not stale lol
Aaron has finished his BA and will begin working on his Masters. At least his masters will only take two years and not four like his BA did! I can't wait to watch him walk to accept his diploma!

Christian is doing great in school and has a photo graphic memory. Which helps but he is also a perfectionist. Where he got that I have no idea lol!

Josh is doing well and is begun reading starter books. He can add basic first grade math!

Kiah is doing great and is a handful always wanting to do more and more homework. If I don't have something for him to do when the others are doing their work he gets upset. But I love it! I love that they love to learn!

It is really a challenge homeschooling with four little ones!! It really try's my patience! I love watching them learn though. I can't help feeling what every homeschooling parent feels though that somehow I might be not covering everything they need to know.

I am glad for Christmas break!

Ethan is another little loving boy! More so than any of them were at his age. He is always giving me hugs. The last two days he will reach for me and say,Mommy hug you! I love it! He loves to sing and will sing parts of many songs. I have caught him using Aarons little flash light as a microphone and singing into it with no music on just rocking back and fourth as he sang. He is sooo cute! He talks so well and understands like a three year old. He is only 23 months old! They are all dare devils and I call them monkeys and crazy which only makes them laugh! He has begun potty training.

I got most of the dining room painted. It is better than pink sponge paint that is on it now. I hate the pink! I am determined that before Christmas to get it all done. I really look forward to Christmas this year!

We have learned about the truth about Santa lol! We teach them the story of how Santa all began. I want the true meaning of Christmas to be more important to them then Santa. I want them to see the birth of Christ as more "magical"/special/amazing then Santa! It is funny cause we were giving a little girl a ride to church and she started talking about Santa and Christian begged me to tell her the real story of Santa.

We have a silly dog that barks at everything lol! I call him a woos lol! I am unsure if we will be able to keep him when we move Hmmmm.....

Right now Kiah and Ethan are dancing like crazy to Hillsong DVD. They get quite crazy. It if fun to watch! Oh and it is really cute cause they had a bath together and Kiah isn't dressed yet so he is dancing in the nude lol! He really has no shame. He will strip in front of anyone if he gets wet without a second thought! He has stripped at the park homeschooling group meeting. Awkward!

I think we will have to buy new tree decorations. Between the dog and Ethan so many have been broken or chewed up. Most of them were old anyway.

Tomorrow I get to go get my hair trimmed. It is just a little to long to style like. It is really short and I love it this way. And then some Christmas shopping well a little at least. Fun day ahead! I have been out of the house for one hour since last saterday.

Good!

2009-12-14T14:47:00.000-08:00

Well I made this a not computer day lol which the boys don't like but man it has been fun watching them play together! We got some Christmas shopping done it was soo fun! Aaron took me to dinner first and we had such a good time! We get to do it again this week. I had two ladys from my church (who I love!) come and give me a gift of 5 hours to be free from being a mother as she put it. Lol! I am so excited! I think I will get my hair trimmed and eat lunch with Aaron and go shopping! Lord willing! lol It is so hard to go shopping with four restless boys especially Christmas shopping! Wow by the time we leave the store I am so exhausted! I love shopping with my husband! I am so glad he loves to shop and like things that aren't cheep cause it is easy for me to think little and he helps me to open my box lol!

Snow

2009-12-08T19:26:00.000-08:00

Today was a good day :) I got all the kids dressed for playing in the snow after school. Getting four boys and me ready to play in snow isn't an easy task but well worth it. I thought Ethan might not remember snow since he was like eleven months old the last time he saw it but he just grinned great big kicked the snow then picked some up and threw it at me lol! I love boys! They are so fun! Kiah kept getting on all fours and licking up the snow. Which created a snow ring around his face lol! Christian said half his face was frozen but just loved being in the snow and trying to get me with it! I finally said we had to go in when Ethan took his gloves off because they were to wet and then tried playing in the snow with out them. lol! He kept trying to shake the snow off! It was funny and even though his hands were very cold he didn't want to go inside! Josh liked it but gave up much faster then the rest of us and went inside lol!
So I took them all inside and got them undressed and went out and got snow for snow Ice Cream. MMMMM....
I am trying real hard to change the way we discipline our Kiah. I am trying so hard not to spank him. And trying to give him more one on one time with me. So I have been doing alot and I mean a lot of time outs. One minute per age so for him three minutes. And alot of praise and encouragement when ever I can find any reason to give it!I think I see a change in him just in the last two days. Aaron said he saw a change too. He is a strong willed and can be defiant child whom we love but can be quiet frustrating lol!

Blessed

2009-12-07T21:47:00.000-08:00

I am feeling very blessed right now! I love the man God has put in my life! He is sooo awesome! lol!
I am soo thankful for the presence of God in all my trials and sorrows! No matter how down I may feel God always sends a message through Himself, friends,husband or my children,radio,Bible. What more could I ask for? :) Life sure isn't easy! Decisions we have to make are not easy many many times! But when and I mean when cause I don't always do it lol but when you pray and let God be the one to direct you in making decisions it will always give you peace even if it hurts to make that decision. Lol if that makes any since! Well it does for me! I am just happy for a husband who redirects me to the Lord when I am hurt or kicking myself for something I did wrong or said wrong! He is such a blessing!
My Boys are growing so big! Schooling is going! Good sometimes, great others and not well other times lol!

Thanksgiving!

2009-11-27T08:29:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving was great at out house! Aaron made a wonderful turkey and stuffing!!!! We had a couple friends over from the collage and played the Wii! Then after we got the kids to bed Aaron and I watched a couple shows online and played Bowling on the Wii! That was fun!!! I won once and Aaron won once! Today is a day of rest and then heading to moms in the late morning tomorrow! I am soo excited to see family! I don't want to do anything lol at home but just lay around but that isn't gonna happen :)

Thanksgiving!

2009-11-24T08:55:00.003-08:00

I have much to be thankful for as we all do! God is so good and so faithful! Living for God is an adventure. With twists and changes always around the bin.
This thanksgiving we are having a dinner at our house with just our family and about three friends. Aaron as usual is cooking the turkey and doing the stuffing.I don't think I have ever cooked a turkey in the 9 years we've been married lol! I will make Butterhorn roles,mashed potatoes, corn(Josh adores), Broccoli (Kiah adores), and I think Apple Pie along with Aarons special Strawberry,Oreo,Peppermint Ice Cream dish. I plan on starting things today so tomorrow is much easier! I think I need a nap first though!
Then two days later we will be going to moms for the family Thanksgiving! And my brothers birthday. Which I am at a total loss as to what to get him.... hmmm... What do you get for a brother who has whatever he wants lol.
The boys are so excited to see Uncle Bob and Aunt TT And especially Anabel! They adore her! Little girls are precious to them! I can't wait either! I haven't seen her in 5 months and she is so big now! Crawling already! Man! Life goes by so fast!
One day we will all be together for the Holidays and we will lol have to get a big place to celebrate cause man that will be 11 Grand kids and 9 adults and maybe more kids lol never know!
We already have our tree up for Christmas lol Aaron came home from work and said that is what he wanted to do. It was fun watching the kids decorate the tree. Can't say it looks umm per say orderly but I love it! Aaron hung garland around the walk way and we will hang more lights later! He loves Christmas well we all do!
My Friend from Florida is coming this week and I am excited! I feel like God is gonna touch her big while she is here and I am excited! Well He has touched me so I am expectant!
Church Sunday was just so awesome! The sermon and worship it just was so Good! I am so thankful for my church. They have been there for us in so many ways! Thank you God for My Pastor and Elders and Prophets and friends!

We fight not against flesh and blood but against principalities and powers of this world!

Thanksgiving!

2009-11-24T08:55:00.001-08:00

God is so good!

2009-11-22T14:06:00.003-08:00

Today church was amazing!!!!!!!! I had a shockingly wake up after watching the video A letter to Satan.It is amazing! And then in church worship was so anointed and then Aaron sang with the worship team and it was such a Blessing!
I believe we will be moving to Hesston in January and I will be taking over some of the childrens ministry. Aaron is applying for a full time military positions. So many changes so fast! It will be hard leaving this place and really the people around us here! It has been so wonderful to live in a Christian country community! It has been a blessing for all of us! I will miss some of the freedom the kids have living here but am ready for a change and believe God is the one setting this all up cause we didn't ask nor look for this opportunity to happen. Change is great but also hard! But life is full of seasons and this was one of ours and was such a Wonderful and Great Two years! I will never forget it and will have these friends for life!
I will be continuing my stepping out of my box journey lol! I am interested to see how God will work this all out for us! Cause He is in charge not me which I am very thankful for!
God,I know that I love You, And I know without doubt that Your goodness and mercy Never run out.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life. Psalm 23:6

God is so good!

2009-11-22T14:06:00.001-08:00

A good Day!

2009-11-21T12:00:00.002-08:00

We have had a good day today! I got the floors and stairs vacuumed,dog bathed,shopping list made,snuggled with my Kiah for nap,things picked up and had time to spend reading the word. I think it is amazing cause when I read it is like there are things that I never new always popping out at me. How I never saw them when I know I read that scripture I am unsure but think maybe I have had such a set way of thinking of things that I somehow just read it but didn't really see it if that makes since. It makes me want to read more and more!
I get to go to a friends sons party this afternoon and the boys are sooo excited! I look forward to seeing my friend who I don't get to see much at all! She is such a woman of God! I am so blessed to have her as a friend!

A good Day!

2009-11-21T12:00:00.001-08:00

Changes are a comin!

2009-11-20T17:07:00.001-08:00

Man we have so many things to think about! It is exciting though! I will write about it when it is all settled lol! I am trying not to get in a hurry and speak to fast! But things will be changing for us and fast! I am ready lol! I enjoy change and watching what God has for us with each new change and challenge!

Got some things done and have been thinking :)

2009-11-17T20:38:00.000-08:00

I did get Christians room/Office carpeted today. Yes! And rearranged and it looks Great! It made the whole room look bigger and cleaner. Christian was so pleased he couldn't stay out of it:) It feels so much more like a home with carpet and not just old dark scratched up wood floors. Sigh of being pleased......
I did also realize that I haven't been spending time like I used to in prayer and reading the word. I used to talk to God through out my day about all kinds of things and realized I haven't been. :( I love though how God is so awesome and as I prayed and asked Him to forgive me and I saw Him come and stand above me smiling and just brushing my hair back and I new He was there for me! Yah you can think I am crazy if you like I don't care :)
I am truly amazed with all my faults every time God shows His love for me in a dream or in prayer or simply telling me. I so don't deserve all God has done for me! Or in ways He helps us financially or in things we need or just want. Like carpet in the house. Or like the time our dryer quit on us and within a day we were given a used dryer free. The funny thing is I never even prayed for those things but never got worried either. Which is amazing for me! I didn't even tell anyone but Aaron about the dryer. I love the way God works. Or the time a friend gave us a side by side fridge(we had one that worked but not a side by side) and it ended up not working so we sold it. I laugh when I think of these things cause it was all God! I could go on and on. And what amazes me is I know it isn't because I am faultless or never sin But I do want to be the best I can be and I do love God and it is awesome how God moves in your life because He loves you and you love Him!
And I am continually amazed by my children! They love God! They ask questions about God and beg me to read the Bible at night. Lol! I am amazed cause I don't make them read the Bible or make them listen to me read the Bible or memorize scripture. They say things that make me see my faults or sin or harmful ways. Josh one night said,"Mom it's hard to leave your old ways"! LOL this from a 5 year old and I didn't know if he even understood the concept of "old ways". Kiah my 3 year old was asking me tonight what God meant. LOL I love it! They make me think and think hard! Four boys can truly be hard at times but man I wouldn't give this life up for anything!
I am continually aware of the different ways people think. Many keep their kids at home with little interaction with others thinking that is best and others seem to think that being at as many church meetings you can even if that means getting a sitter is really important. I am right between them both. Church I believe is vital to each person and child but there are many times that I am only able to got to chruch once a week. I believe that God will supply whatever I need spiritually with out me having to run off and leave my kids very often. Not that I wont ever but not on a regular bases. He always has! So now I watch and see and when I am unable to go to a desired church function or meeting I know that I am where God wants me. And life is full of seasons and right now my season is spending lots of time with my four young boys at home. I think it is probably the best spiritual training place to be! If you let it be!

Hmm....

2009-11-17T05:53:00.000-08:00

Today I am about to fix breakfast then clean up,start school with the kids, then fix lunch,clean up and get some of the kids down for a nap. I also need to finish laying carpet today and mop down stairs and vacuum upstairs.I want it done!!!
I am excited cause we are having Christmas at our place this year and we are gonna paint the dining room before then! YES! I am tired of pink sponge painted walls! Uggg....
Josh said he wasn't going to complain today about doing homework. I am unsure where that came from but would love it if it really happened! :)
Aaron is gonna be more involved with the homeschooling from now on. I am ubber excited about that! It makes a burden lift from my shoulders ! I love homeschooling don't get me wrong but each year trying to decide on my own what things to get for four kids is really stressing for me! So I am really excited!
My little angel Ethan has been going potty on the big toilet before baths and the family makes a big deal about it. He loves it when they do and grins soo big and then lays his head on my shoulder. He is only 23 months so I think he is doing great!
I am a proud momma of my four boys!

My Changing Boys

2009-09-27T06:30:00.000-07:00

It is amazing to me to watch my boys grow and change! Ethan is now 20 months old and repeats just about everything he hears. He just brought me his brothers drawing and said,"Ook OOk a robot". He does this often and I am always surprised! And yesterday as I laid him down for nap he said poop and and looked down at his diaper.I checked and he had peed but just a couple minutes later he did poop and he did the same thing this morning. Maybe it is time to potty train...

2009-09-21T12:17:00.000-07:00

Homeschooling can be quite time consuming and hard.Especially with little ones running around making things harder. But I am extremely excited when I see my seven year old reading huge words or my five year old add in his head. Homeschooling is a giving up of many wants and of self. Many people can't do it. Give up so much of themselves and their time.
It has taught me how selfish I can be. It has been a humbling learning experience that I wouldn't have if I had put my kids in school and went to work to find fulfillment. Or gone to college! I have felt the pressure to do just that. I am glad though that I didn't give in to them!

God moves

2009-09-21T11:30:00.000-07:00

God moves in our lives just like the changing weather and seasons! I go through many ups and downs but all the downs are worth the ups! LOL! I am excited when I can see God moving in our lives and see changes that only God could have made! I love it when things are not going good in many ways in our lives but yet we are content and happy and know God is taking care of us and what ever we are dealing with.
My life is full of things that do get me down many times. I don't handle things the right way so many times. But I am learning to accept that I can do my best to fix things then leave them to God and rest knowing God can take care of me and my mistakes better then I ever could!
I am beginning to be able to happily accept who I am because The God of all made me. He loves who I am and is extremely happy with me! I have faults and am glad I do because without those faults I wouldn't need my God and Savior Jesus Christ to help me. I am glad to be able to look back over my life and see how God has changed me because I gave my faults to Him and was determined to become better through Him!

2009-07-25T06:36:00.000-07:00

I love the life that God has given me! I am so blessed to live in a place where I can safely send all my boys outside to play. The other day I sent them all outside and when I looked the three older ones were sward fighting and the baby was playing on the bridge and slide in the playground. I just had such an overwhelming peace and joy when I looked at them!
I am so amazed at how God uses different people around me to comfort me,give me words of strength and wisdom,just love on me, and uplift me even when I don't realize I need it or just don't ask! I didn't even know that you could have such a group of people that truly love you and keep you in prayer. I mean really cares about you!!
I am so pleased to see my boys grow and there love for God and the changes in there lives. I was talking to a little three year old about obeying her mom ect. and Christian brought me a Bible and said here mom. He wanted me to show her in the Bible what God said about obeying parents. I was very surprised and pleased!
We have such a wonderful Church family and they are there for us at all times! It is so important to have that and allow yourself to be a part of a church family I believe!
God is just so Goood!