It has been interesting as I have gotten older (and hopefully wiser lol) to see how God is working in me. I am far from where I need to be. I am continually amazed at how the things I need God provides for me the more I worry less and just be content with what I have. I will give you some what may seem silly examples. I was in need of some decent tennis shoes. I needed them yet it isn't like a desperate kind of need and also new I was gonna need some winter shoes( that was more important then tennis shoes). I hadn't even looked at shoes just would think of it from time to time. There is just to much other things that need taken care of. Well Just this week I got a pair of both in my size free! Also I was in need of a stove with a working oven. ( I had taped the heating element once when it was hot cause geese had dripped on it and it broke lol,yah stupid I know). I hadn't pressed the issue or complained( something I would have done in the past).I actually wasn't worried( odd for me). I went a good three months or more without a working oven. I finally called swap shop about a stove but again wasn't to worried. I got a couple calls and we were gonna go look at one for $100.00 that weekend. I ended up taking my sister and brother-in-law to the recycle shed at the dump and guess what! There was a stove in great condition and clean and my brother-in-law was able to put it in his van for me. I wouldn't have been able to get it if he wasn't there. And best of all it was FREE! It continues to happen to me on a constant biases. I don't worry much anymore. I mean God always provides what I need and the more I worry and try to find ways to make things work the harder it seems. Simple prayers said to the Almighty God and faith that in His time and His way we will be provided for!
My mom comments often of how blessed I am and is continually amazed! I am becoming less amazed and realizing it is simply that God does and will provide for those who love and trust him. I am learning the true meaning of trusting God and having faith. It doesn't mean say the words,pray,say God will take care of it then worry and try to figure it out lol! That is taking control.I want God to be in control therefor I tell Him what I am in need of and wait to see how He will provide without stressin over it. It is fun to see how it all comes about.

It is amazing how my enemy can get to me without me truly understanding and putting a stop to it. Why in the world would I let him consistently put doubts,fears,anger,and resentful thoughts that turn into feelings into my life? Because I don't think much of myself so it is easy to accept the thoughts instead of fighting them off like I should in the very beginning. Oh of course my enemy is Satan and myself.
But I am taking a stand and will fight out of this! Sigh I am SO glad I can actually say that without doubt!
It wont all go away instantly I know because I have believed the lies for to long! I am a loved daughter of God and will learn to act accordingly! Not in self doubt,fear,nor thinking less of myself than the others I see as more spiritual then me! I just need to decide that knowing God is the most important factor in my life and dive head long into learning to be an obedient servant and daughter of Jesus Christ! One more step out of the box!
Ha I will become what God wants me to be and quit focusing on what seems impossible and just walk where God says to walk fully trusting Him and not leaving the path He sets before me!
I will quit saying I can't out of fear or intimidation. I can if God tells me to cause He will only give me what I can handle! And I will learn to lean on Gods understanding not mine!

So I have found my self desiring to have a baby agian. Lol I can't believe I am saying this lol! Things are not easy with four yet.. I adore my life and children and feel so utterly Blessed! I would say it is a God thing cause I haven't wanted a baby in about 2 years.
Lol some girls at church have said I should have more cause they are so cute! Now isn't that a good reason to have kids? LOL! Everyone says we should have a girl. I don't know about that.
Well I need to go start supper. Whatever that will be. Don't know yet and wish I didn't have to cook. I wish Aaron could do supper more often. I love it when he does even though it takes a tad longer cause he cleans up everything so well lol! Not me! Ha Ha!